The Last Day

32

A/N: As promised, this is the last chapter of the last day! I loved writing every single piece of this novel and I love it with all my heart!

Please don't forget to comment and vote! Je suis finallement fini avec cette pièce d'art!

Dear Sharp Marcus,

Yes, this letter is for you and you only. So if your reading this Francis, please stop and just hand it over to Chris (your new business partner).

Let me start again, well because you better than anyone knows that the second time is the best, always.

Dear Chris,

I'd introduce myself to you but I don't think you would've forgotten about me because I was your first love and first heartbreak. And I'm sorry. It feels so good to say it even though its just on paper. I would try and reach you but it seems you have changed all contact information, even your name it seems. Everyone calls you Sharp now. I figured maybe you'd want to start fresh, you know after I destroyed you completely.

I've seen on the tabloids that your doing well with your new girlfriend. They said you moved in together and that your planning on proposing to her. And honestly, if I were you I would waste no time. If she makes you happy, then do it with your eyes closed. Just to clarify, I wasn't stalking you. I tried so hard to avoid every single update about you but it was so hard because you became so very famous.

I'm happy to see your doing well. And I don't say this out of jealousy but out of pure sincerity. You didn't deserve what I did to you and my only excuse is that I was a fool. I stupid, stupid fool.

If I didn't commit that mistake, if only I didnt choose Josh instead of you, maybe we could have lived happily together in each other's arms. You gave me everything, including luxury. But I didn't want all that, I just wanted you. I wanted to grow up and marry you. I know we never talked about it but we didn't have to. I knew the way you looked at me and you would've wanted to spend the rest of your life with me. You made me that confident about our relationship. But I ruined everything. The only crack in our relationship was me.

I hope you find somewhere in your heart, the space to forgive me even though I don't deserve your forgiveness. I have accepted that fact. Every time I want to reach out to you to apologise personally, I remember that you blocked me from your contacts for a reason. That you changed your name for a reason. And that you are doing well without me for a reason. So I didn't want to bring myself to your life again when I was clearly removed from the picture.

Now I know your a busy man and you must be wondering why an ex girlfriend of yours is writing you a stupid letter, but I just had to. I had to express everything I was feeling because I would never have the guts to if I saw you. I don't deserve you; never have and never will.

So firstly, I would like to apologise yet again. And secondly, you might hear something about me dying in the news somewhere. If you hear something like that, I'd want you to disregard it.

I am taking my life away. Tonight in fact.

I don't want you to think I'm killing myself because of you. Because thats not true. I would hate myself even more if you'd be wallowed up in guilt because of me. I want to kill myself because of me and me only. I've been thinking about it for a while. And I'm ready, ready to die.

After we broke up, I tried to rekindle my relationship with Josh. He was ecstatic and promised me the world. But I didn't want the world, I just wanted the love I imagined. The same love you gave me. Let me cut it short, it didn't work out between me and Josh. And this time it wasn't his fault. He was perfect in every way. It was my fault yet again. I realised I didn't love Josh like I thought I did. I loved you, I still love you.