From the Mind Of Me

Attention ...Crazy

  I was never the one to want to be in the spotlights or hang with the big crowds just to feel like i belong.

 If anything i was thinking of new ways to hide from judgmental eyes and secret giggles of jokes about me that people thought i was clueless to know but honestly speaking only letting it fall on deft ears.

 For all the reasons i stayed away i became even more crippled to the idea of wanting attention.

 For what ever reason having attention wasn't apart of me and i wasn't a part of it.

 If i could sit in a room full of people and not say anything i would and if i had to speak, you better believe it was short and sweet. 

They say everything has a ending but time.

 I Have never felt this type of craving before but I'm strongly addicted now.

Your breathe is my passion and the attention you give me is my life line. 

My stomach becomes warm and light when my mind thinks of you.

 Smiles after smiles revisits my face when i reread your text and listen to your voice messages.

 My Day feels Smoother more relaxed when iv heard from you. 

My prayers was answered when God sent me you. 

But........ when hours pass and my phone is silent my heart starts to race on a different track.

When I text you and wait .... check and see if its been read then wait .......wait...... check again and its been read but no responds.

 My mind enters into another level of another me.

 I love you, I hate you, I Love you sooo much I really do but I hate you no wait I can't hate you........but i cant take this silence.

My heart is beating so fast, worried about the silence that's closing in on me caused by your absence and it's squeezing my lungs making time feel like years with every minute that melts the clock. 

You make me feel so good when your around but when you're gone, so is my energy, my joy, my motivation, my inspiration, my air.

I cant breathe when your stay away too long.

 You Asked, is us not talking really hurting me?

 While my skin is boiling hot that you can ask such a thing to me.

 I die a little every time your away. 

Every time we don't talk much my world starts to shake but I'm trying to keep cool and say I'm ok but its really not ok. 

I'm not trying to sweat you, annoy you ,or suffocate you but i can't go without you.

 You may have your reasons for not making time but I have mine for wanting you to give me attention, something I never wanted before.

 Yes, yes I'm crazy only for you, Yes, yes crazy because I need your devoted indicating affection.

 Yeah I'm crazy because i can't function without it. 

Wait ..........this is crazy, i need to get this under control. 

I'll pretend i don't care no more and let weeks go by without caving in.

 if i cut it all off at once I'm afraid my lungs will fold so let me slowly tip toe out of the doorway of desiring you.

 Because i need attention so much that i can't handle its after affects.

 Its like giving up a drug that's been implanted into my immune system it's got me shaking, I can only say its ok i understand for so long until the effects starts to show and the withdrawal starts to take me through the stages of attention liquidation.

 The truth is that once I liquidate this drug that's controlling my emotions that's when I know I have falling out of love with you and I don't want that.

 I'm in a Love so sweet that the lack of attention causes destruction. 

I'm Attention Crazy!