Remembrance ; Levi

♡ Away

Everything wasn't better in the morning.

You sat in your bedroom, head in your hands, a dooming feeling in your chest as you blankly stared at the wall just across from where you were.

Murmurs from next door; you could hear Eren and Aileen speaking in hushed voices. Across from you; coughing and talking concealed.

A knock upon your door.

Aileen entered, Eren only peering at you from behind her. "You alright?" She asked, tilting her head, an upset look on her face.

You didn't respond.

"You should go outside. Clear your thoughts a little. Being in here won't help much with your mood."

Wordlessly, you rose from your bed, and walked out the door, avoiding their eyes. But even then, you could feel Eren's eyes watch you leave.

Needless to say, you walked the path, thoughts swarming like flies in your mind. There were a million things a month could have meant.

A month to come back? A month to meet him? A month until Levi decides to end things?

People passed, speaking in scared voices about the Titans.

'Oh, that's right.'

'...There's so many things wrong with this world...'

They brought you back to reality; you couldn't be a helpless girl, mooning around over some man.

This wasn't a fairy tale storybook.

'Even living would not be easy in this world.'

You kicked the stones with your feet, watching the empty streets.

'I can't even afford to worry about Levi with the Titans and dad's sickness.' 

'This is terrible.'

Perhaps ignorant, you still really wished you could see him. Inner feelings conflicted with each other, coiling and clashing like violent ocean waves.

"Hey, snap out of it!"

You blinked your eyes, before turning around. "Aileen?"

"Seriously, I only followed you because you really didn't seem okay back there." She studied your face, her piercing eyes seemingly analyzing.

"I...what should I do?" Your blank stare soon turned blurry; as if you had just washed your face and opened your eyes.

Your eyelashes felt heavy with tears as you blinked, releasing a tear down your cheek. Turning your face towards the sky, you tried to keep the rest in.

Aileen stayed quiet, simply listening to your voice as you sniffled through your tears. She ran a hand through her tresses, biting her lip.

You finally turned your head down, using your sleeve to wipe the tears away, wishing you could do the same with the uncomfortable air.

"Is there anything I can do for you?"

Your mind went into a frenzy. "Why are you always so helpful? Why do you want to help me so much, why are you like this-"

Your hand clutched her arm as you collapsed to the ground in front of her, the redhead, Ai. She crouched down next to you, resting her hand on your back.

"It used to be because I owed your dad." She started, her finger drawing circles, "but now, it might be because I feel compassion towards you."

"Then-"

She waited.

"Please go tell him to visit me."

Aileen rose, her red hair brushing your knee. "I will try my best," she said softly as she helped you up. "It is not easy to gain audience with him."

You cracked a smile.

"If it's you, I'm sure it will be fine."

___

You caught Jin's eyes as he watched you slip into the house. He looked as if he was about to speak, but closed his mouth.

"How is he?" You asked.

Jin grimaced, "I'm trying my best. Are you alright?"

"I'm...managing."

Before you knew it, you felt a strong tug on your arm. The room fell away, and you were pushed against a broad chest, arms surrounding you.

It was familiar, and something deep inside of you enjoyed it so much. Pushing the feeling down, you swallowed hard; tried to push him away, betraying your own mind.

"Don't make thi-"

"Stop making that face." He said, his voice hurt.

"W-what?"

"You're in a difficult situation. Why are you smiling? Is something about it good? What is so pleasant about this-"

Your hand fell, limp at your side. "I'm not going to cry a second time-"

"Is there something funny about this? Don't you feel terrible?"

"Stop, I said."

"When you make that face, when you try to conceal your feelings...you're not fooling anyone. That kid, Aileen, your father, they all saw it. You know what they felt?"

"Jin-"

"They felt terrible."

You slammed your fist against his chest, as hard as you could, tears already making their way down your cheeks.

He could only look at you with sadness, his eyes reflecting yours as you looked him in the eye again. "Are you still frustrated?"

"Don't tell me- you did that on purpose...?"

Jin's sadness was infectious. It tainted the walls; the atmosphere of the room, too. "It's not healthy to pent it up. If you're still mad," he moved his hair out of his eyes.

"I will always be here for you."