Shelter In Your Love (Beatles Fan Fiction)

70. Try Some, Buy Some

'I'll...' He coughs to clear his throat. 'I'll give you your divorce. If that's what you still want?'

'It is.'

He gives a slight nod, turning away. With his hands still in his pockets, he walks to side of the bay window and draws the net back to view the steps outside the front door.

'I'm broke though, Hannah, so don't expect to get much from me,' he says, after a moment. 'The Krays didn't pay us a dime for the last six months. Sal's paying for all this and the, uh... ticket home.'

'I don't want anything from you,' I say, frostily.

He stays where he is, silent, staring out of the window, unmoving for so long that I wonder if I should leave.

'I... I always did love you, Hannah,' he says, suddenly. His voice taking on a dreamlike quality. It seems appropriate. This whole thing is surreal.

He lets the net curtain drop, then returns to the sofa, sitting down next to me, perched on the edge but closer than I feel comfortable with. I attempt to inch away from him.

'I know what you think,' he says, a little forcefully. 'You think it was all a lie, all an act, but it wasn't. It wasn't. I was in love with you when I asked you to marry me. It wasn't for the TV show or... or for anything else.'

He offers me a small smile. I don't respond, but I feel hyper aware, taking in his every tiny movement. There is a slight shake in his hand as he holds it out to me, palm up.

'I'll admit it was Maurice's idea,' he continues, with a dry laugh. 'He wanted me to get a serious girlfriend, get married. He thought it would be wise for my career. I was getting older and there were... rumours. I didn't think it would work. How could I marry just anyone? He said he'd find the perfect girl. He looked for ages. Months. Years, in fact. And then he did find the perfect girl.' He lifts his eyes to me. 'He found you.'

I didn't think there was much else Ricky could say to me to shock and hurt me, but this revelation is unexpectedly sharp. Our entire marriage was a sham, I understand that, but I didn't realise that our singing group - my entire professional singing career - had been too.

'He... Maurice only signed us so I could marry you?' I ask, shocked.

'Oh no, don't misunderstand me,' Ricky says, emphatically.

He leans forward and takes my hand. My mind is reeling, I'm too bewildered to stop him.

'The girl had to be talented. She had to be able to sing. That was number one criteria, otherwise it wouldn't have had a chance of working. You know Maurice, profit was always the bottom line.' He smiles, toothily. 'When he found you girls, you were perfect. Obviously, Minnie was too loud, too harsh - can you imagine? I think it was hate at first sight between me and her. Then, Cat...' He sighs. 'Maurice managed the Raine girls from the time they were sixteen. He thought that Cat was probably the, uh, lucky winner for a while, but she was far too... sweet. She was like a little child and Bet... well, Bet was Bet, wasn't she? But you, baby, you had something else about you. You were sweet too, pure and feminine, but you had something about you. You were innocent, but not, and you needed something, you were searching for something. We knew it would make you.... Well, it made you just perfect.'

It made me blinkered and stupid. Perfectly stupid. Perfectly naive and gullible.

'Maurice just didn't bank on me actually falling in love with you.' He laughs, releasing my hand so he can pinch the bridge of his nose. 'It used to drive him crazy. And me, with him. The fuckin' fights, we had, baby! You never heard such fuckin' language!'