leo valdez x reader (book 1)

Stay Alive

I hope you guys like this! Probably will be short. <Unedited>
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Now the night is coming to an end
The sun will rise and we will try again

It was Saturday, the day you decided to go through with something you never expected yourself to do.

You were diagnosed with depression and anxiety. Your negative thoughts got so bad to the point where you had thoughts.

They were not good thoughts.

You somehow found a gun in camp. You put the gun to the temple of your head and got ready to pull the trigger.

You broke down into a sob as you thought of leaving everybody.

You would leave your family, your friends, your best friend Leo, and everybody else.

You thought about how Leo would react after finding you dead with a bullet through your skull.

You couldn't pull the trigger. Not yet at least.

It was the fourth time you failed at killing yourself. You moved the gun away from your head and set it beside you.

You cried into your hands quietly so you wouldn't wake any of your siblings. You would hate to wake them up when they deserved their sleep.

You climbed into your bed and rocked back and forth in efforts to calm and not have an anxiety attack.

'Tomorrow I'm going to stay strong. Everything will be okay and go as normal.' You thought reassuringly.

You kept repeating that thought over and over so you would etch it into your brain.

You took deep breaths and grabbed your phone and earbuds to listen to music to help calm you down.

Soon, you fell asleep.

Stay alive, stay alive for me
You will die, but now your life is free
Take pride in what is sure to die

You were in Bunker 9 because the suicidal thoughts popped into your head again.

You couldn't get them to go away, so you went to Leo for help because he was a caring person and helped you though anything and everything.

You were sobbing into Leo's chest while hugging him. He hugged you back and rubbed your back to help soothe you.

This was Leo's first time ever hearing you talk about your depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts.

You don't let this side of you show when you're around other people, so Leo never suspected you to feel really sad and use happiness to cover it up.

"I actually almost pulled the trigger yesterday..." You confessed.

"What stopped you?" Leo asked softly.

"I-I thought of your re-reaction when you f-find me d-dead..." You choked on a sob and Leo pulled you closer to him.

"Stay alive for me, please." Leo begged while letting a river of tears full down his face.

"Even when you die, and if you decide to take your own life, just know that you lived and amazing life and I love and care so much about you." Leo said sincerely.

"And when we die, I think we'll have so much peace. Just please, don't take your life earlier than the fates had. I want to be with you and have a life with you."

Leo looked at you with his teary, brown eyes and leaned his forehead on yours. He leaned in, but stopped and looked at you.

You nodded and he leaned in all the way. You felt his warm, baby soft lips touch yours.

Yours and Leo's tears mixed together as you shared a long, passionate kiss. He had his hands in the middle of your back.

Your arms were wrapped around his neck. He pulled you impossibly closer and kissed you more intensely, but still softly.

You figured Leo really wanted to show you how important you were and how much he loved you.

You loved Leo with all your heart, so you didn't take time to reciprocate those feelings.

I will fear the night again
I hope I'm not my only friend

You were getting ready for bed because you had a long, exhausting day. It was very stressful to.

Leo decided to stay with you and sleep in your bed with you to protect you from your thoughts.

'Hopefully I won't have these thoughts. They hide in my darkest times, so I'm afraid. Even though I have Leo, I hope I'm not the only one going through this..' (Raise your hand if you sang the Sam Smith song. *raises hand*)

"Are you okay?" Leo asked while pulling you into his warm chest so you could go to sleep faster.

"Yeah, I think so."

"Remember that you always have me. I love you so much and care about you. You are my world and don't let those thoughts get to you."

He kissed your forehead and then your lips. You snuggled into his chest and closed your eyes to go to sleep.

Stay alive, stay alive for me
You will die, but now your life is free
Take pride in what is sure to die

Before you fell asleep, you heard Leo whisper something that became a daily reminder.

"Please, stay alive for me."
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In case you were wondering, the song is "Truce" by TØP.

I am really sorry for not warning you guys with the feels. I kind if did that on purpose.

I still love you guys though. Sad songs are just the easiest to write to.

And Twenty Øne Piløts have great and meaningful songs that are perfect for sad one shots.

Love you guys💕