Chapter 32

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"Once upon a time, I was falling in love. Now I'm only falling apart." -Bonnie Tyler

~
Castiels' Point of View

Dean came home a little later at night, merely 7:00. His hands full of take-out Chinese food. An innocent beam on his face.

Cas sat stiffly in the dining chair, watching Dean set down the bags with weary eyes.

"I brought you your favorite-broccoli beef with fried rice-I can't believe that you love broccoli...like who even are you?" Dean laughed from the kitchen, a clatter of plates and cups echoing in Castiels' ears.

He swallowed down the thick set of nerves bundled at his throat: the shock still buzzing through his head. Dean paced in, two plates of sizzling food in his hands.

The food set against the wood, Cas let out a parched 'thank you'. Deans' eyebrows furrowed together, a hand clasped on Castiels' shoulder. He was tense beneath the touch, a muscle clenched at the feel of Deans' palm on him.

Dean sat down beside him, leaning forward slightly-eyes scanning Cas curiously. "Hey...you alright?"

Castiel had the real answer on the tip of his tongue-but, for some reason, he couldn't spit it out. So he nodded, and smiled forcefully.

"You sure?" Dean frowned, "You seem off."

"No," Cas responded in a bright tone, "I'm just a bit tired Dean."

"Well, how about-" Dean got close to Castiels' ear, breath balmy against Cas' earlobe, "after this dinner-we'll take a nice, long, shower."

Castiel blinked, "Yeah Dean," he murmured gently, "I would like that."

What Cas really would like, was an explanation. To why Dean is acting perfectly fine. To why he can't see right through Cas' bitter lies. To why he had to go on that computer.

But, he didn't get the truth during dinner, during the movie, not even in the shower.

Castiel settled in bed, removing his frames and setting them down on the counter. Deans' fingers tapping on that infuriating keyboard was the only sound he heard. It was at this point that Castiel needed to hear what Dean would say if he asked-he needed the truth.

"What are you doing?" Cas pressed, sitting up. Dean turned back, grimacing.

"Reading some e-mails."

Castiel nodded softly, "which emails?"

"A couple from high-school friends-can you believe that? They finally wanna keep in touch with me."

Cas wasn't done being lied to, "Which friends?"

"A few troublemakers..." Dean droned off, his green eyes dull in the damp lighting, his hair frizzy from the shower, "What's up with you?"

"What do you mean?"

"Something happened...what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong."

Dean rolled his eyes, "Bullshit."

Cas' eyes went watery-he was so glad that Dean could barely see him. "I'm just-"

"Tired?" Dean scoffed, "Tell me what the hell is wrong? Did I-"

"Please Dean," a shattered tone, almost cracking. "I'm fine."

A light blew up in Deans' eyes, his mouth formed an 'O'. "C-Cas,"

"Yeah?" Cas muttered, rubbing his eyes, a salty tear against his cheek.

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