Chapter 19

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"One day in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful." -Unknown

~

Dean's Point of View

He couldn't tell him.

Every time he tried, his thoughts pushed it back.

Lisa peered down at him, lips pursed together, a heavy silence settled like a thick fog.

"Is that from him?" She asked, pointing towards her own neck. Dean flushed, remembering the blots of purple hickeys from yesterday. He didn't want to lie to her, since he already lied to her so much. He nodded, covering up the marks with the collar of his shirt. "How is he?"

"He's alright, I guess...his headaches have been getting worse, but the daily vomit started to go away."

"You love him?"

Dean nodded, swallowing a lump down his throat. Lisa glared at him.

"Does he love you?"

Dean nodded again.

"Does he love you like I loved you?" She questioned, switching her gaze down to her linked hands, "Did I do something wrong? If so, what did I do?"

"No, Cas doesn't love me in the way you loved me...and you didn't do anything wrong. You're a beautiful, young woman, with a kind heart and amazing soul. You didn't do anything wrong Lisa."

She nodded, the tension lingering between them.

"You really hurt me Dean."

Dean got up, and sat beside her, hugging her. "I'm so sorry Lisa, you deserve so much better than an asshole like me."

Lisa glanced up, tears gleaming in her framed eyes. Her eyes stared at his lips and in a swift second, Lisa Braeden was kissing Dean.

Dean stayed in the kiss for a while, feeling nothing, only the sensation that it wasn't right. He pulled away, inhaling sharply.

"I'm sorry, I-"

"No, don't even begin."

"Lisa-"

"You're in love with someone who's going to die, one way or another...do you even know that?"

"I do, I just don't care though. Lisa, I will always have a spot for you in my heart, but it's a different spot for Cas, you understand?"

"You're going to be a father, and you're head over heels for a person who will die in a month of two."

Her words stung Dean, but he didn't want to get upset with her, especially since she had a baby in her uterus that was his.

"You're going to fall down hard when he dies, and I won't be there to pick you up." She stated, pushing Dean away. "Leave please."

"Lisa, please,"

"You don't even want this child, you just want to stay in fantasy land with Castiel!"

"You think I don't want the baby?" Dean scowled, "You know me better then that."

"Then leave him."

"Excuse me?"

"Leave Castiel."

Dean stared at her, thinking if he heard her wrong.

"If you want this baby, then leave Castiel."

"He's dying!" Dean exasperated, giving her a look, "I'm the only one he has!"

"You want him more than this baby, than your child?"

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