Come With Me... (AU of Crashed Love)

Losing Control

"I feel like I'm losing control," I exhaled a shaky breath, my knuckles white from gripping the sides of the sink. Felix gazed at me with sorrow filled eyes, but he snapped out of his pity to return to his disappointment and rage.

"I feel like I'm losing you," he muttered, and I stared back at him through the mirror. His arms were crossed in front of his chest, and his eyes were sagging in exhaustion. He had on a loose tan t-shirt and some sweatpants. The usual clothing he wears outside of his armor.

"You're not losing me," I turned around, taking a step closer to him. He retreated, sucking on his teeth uncomfortably. Reluctantly, my hands returned by their sides. "Then, why did you do that?" His voice was brittle, and I was surprised he wasn't screaming his lungs out at me.

Felix was actually... hurt.

"Baby, it was just one kiss. It didn't mean anything. I stopped it. If I really intended on hurting and betraying you, don't you think I would've kept going?" My eyes pleaded for forgiveness, and I watched my boyfriend carefully as he thought.

"You promise that's all it was?" He muttered, lifting his orange eyes to stare into mine. "Of course," I gushed, gently taking his hands in mine. "I just don't want to fight anymore," Felix sighed, reaching around my shoulders and tugging me closer to him.

I almost sobbed into his shirt with joy, smiling like an idiot once I felt his arms around me. "No more secrets, okay?" Felix detached from me, smoothing away the loose strands of hair by my face as he held my cheeks, "I want you to be able to tell me anything and everything... Even if you're thinking about chopping my head off or something."

I giggled softly, making Felix smile at me. With my mind racing with guilt, the laughs that escaped my mouth soon evaporated. My boyfriend furrowed his brow as he watched my expression change suddenly.

"I have a plan, Sam. Hargrove isn't gonna let us leave after we cash in those credits, I can just feel it. He's gonna use us for all he can get. The little weasel is gonna h-" I waved my hands frantically in front of Felix's face, stopping his babbling as my head started to throb. The guilt was eating away at me, I couldn't just sit there and keep this from him any longer.

"Felix, I need to tell you something," I mumbled, my thoughts fumbling over each other as I tried to come up with something to say. "Okay, what is it?" Felix raised an eyebrow impatiently, slightly annoyed I interrupted his important ramblings.

"I um..." Wringing my hands nervously, my tongue began to tie in knots, "Do you remember when I went on that stealth mission with Locus to kill the General?" Felix nodded eagerly, trying to piece together what I was trying to admit to him.

"Well, I saw... Wash and Carolina there. Kimball was there, too... I think. I don't know. Maybe she w-" Felix shook his head, snapping his fingers rapidly, "Sam, get to the point." I swallowed hard, closing my eyes as I clasped my hands together.

"I couldn't imagine them... getting burned to death on that God forsaken planet. All I could think about was Caboose. I-I can't be the cause of any more of their problems, Felix. You have to understand that," I pleaded, the hot tears swelling up in my eyes as my guilt continued to grow.

"I warned them. I told them to get off the planet while they still could... I wanted them to have a good life and forget about the trouble and pain I caused them," I exclaimed, watching as Felix bitterly laughed and paced the room. "They don't deserve that," I muttered, gluing my eyes to the floor in shame.

"I can't believe this," he exasperated, his fingers locking behind his head like he was relaxing on a hammock. "God, why did you tell me that?!" The soldier exclaimed, making me flinch when his volume suddenly climaxed.