Missed Connections

Chapter 14 - Mac with Extra Cheese

I am still sniffling into my pillow when I hear my roommates drunkenly stumble up the stairs and burst into the apartment.

"Shhh, Tegan," whispers Paisley so loudly that I can hear it through my shut door.  "We don't want to wake up Evynn."

"You shush yourself, Paise, you're so loud!" responds Tegan, her voice registering barely below shouting. "Oh shit!"

What follows is a cacophony of stumbles, bangs, and fits of giggles.  I imagine that Tegan has once again twisted her ankle getting out of her bar heels, and has clearly fallen over on the floor.  Predictable, but also funny as hell.  I listen to them trying to silence each other for a few more minutes, and finally resolve to leave my dreary tear soaked pillow for the comfort of my supportive, albeit drunken, bosom buddies.

"It's fine, guys, I'm up!" I yell through the door.  "And you'd better have after-bar food, otherwise I'm going to be so pissed for getting out of bed."  I throw on some leggings and head out to our main living area.  It's both a curse and a gift that our open concept apartment doesn't divide the kitchen and our TV room/hang out area.  On one hand, it's nice to put a show on when you're alone cooking in the kitchen; It makes the apartment seem less lonely.  On the other hand, it means that sound reverberates across the entire room into the hallway leading to the bedrooms.  If people are up and being loud, it's pretty safe to assume you are too.  With my room being the closest to the living area, I usually take the full brunt of the noise.

I find the girls sitting on the couch, scarfing down handfuls of popcorn from a huge bag, only half of which is actually ending up in their mouths.  When they see me round the corner from hallway, they both pause mid-mouthful and smile.  Several kernels drop inelegantly from Tegan's mouth as she rushes over to give me a huge sloppy hug. "Ev!  Omigod!  You would not believe the night we just had.  It was so much fun.  We hit up Clinton's for the 90s dance party, and then did crazy-ass karaoke in Little Korea town with some hotties.  It was so fun!"

"Yeah," pipes in Paisley, "You should have been there, it would have taken your mind off that dude from the subway." I'm about to let her in on my little secret, when she interrupts me to slur, "Omigod, do you know what would be the best right now?  Mac and Cheese!"

"Yes please!" chimes in Tegan.

The girls both run to the cupboards and start scrabbling through their contents to find the object of their desire.  I watch them in amused silence as they somehow coordinate themselves enough to locate a pot, strainer, and box of instant Kraft Dinner.  Though, after watching Tegan ineptly try to fill the pot with water and move it to the stove, sloshing water all over the floor, I jump in.

"Hands off the dial, sister.  Maybe the sober one should light up the gas burner.  God forbid we all die in our sleep if you accidentally leave the gas on, forget, and light up a spliff before bed. Kaboom!"

"You're so dramatic, Ev!" yells Paisley.

Tegan shrugs and moves aside, resuming her seat on the couch with Paisley who is now flipping through the channels on the TV and emphatically remarking on random commercials.  I stand for a minute, watching them once more, trying to collect myself.  The heavy feeling in the pit of my stomach is still there, and is radiating towards my chest, making it feel tight.  My tears have stemmed for now, but I can feel the emotion resting just below my vocal chords, just waiting to be released.  I force myself to smile.  Fake it 'til you make it, right? I can squelch the turmoil if I ignore it long enough, I lie to myself.  But as I feel the tears pricking at the backs of my eyes once more, I know this categorically untrue.

Not wanting to ruin the fun, I turn my attention to the stove with my back turned towards the girls.  Letting the water boil, I grab the box of macaroni and pour it into the pot.  "Shit!" I exclaim as I, as per my usually MO, forget to remove the cheese packet from the box before dumping out its contents.  I hastily grab it out from the water, scalding several of my fingers in the process.  "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" I yell as I run my fingers under cold water to cool them down.