Jaspar One-Shots

The Ten Rules To Heartbreak

Summary: Joe got his heart broken, and these are the ten rules you should follow when you get your heart broken. He followed none of them.
WARNINGS: Talks of self-harm.

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1. You don't have to apologise for your feelings.

One thing Joe did madly was apologise. When he bumped into someone, when he did something wrong. However, the problem was he sometimes apologised for stuff he shouldn't apologise for.

So when Caspar told him that he was sorry and he didn't feel the same way, Joe immediately took the blame on himself and apologised.

He didn't do it just once in this situation though, one time Caspar grabbed his hand and saw Joe stiffen, his face turn red and his breathing shallow.

"Oh, I didn't mean to-" Caspar started, however Joe quickly cut him off.

"No. It's my fault. Don't apologise for something that's not your fault." Joe whispered, removing his hand from Caspar's.
He should've taken his own advice.

2. Heartbreak isn't poetic. It's fucking heartbreaking.

Sat on his bed late at night, with tears streaming down his face. In many films, this is the part people would take screenshots of and send to their friends whenever they got hurt.

But Joe can't ignore the fact that his heart feels like it will explode, his chest hurts and he's constantly, desperately, gasping for air. He thinks over and over again about why he was never good enough, and over and over again about why it was never him who got the happy ending.

He always thinks that sometimes it feels good to write your feelings out on a page and rip it into shreds, but none of that does justice to the way your hands shake and your teeth chatter and oh god - it hurts, it hurts so bad and you just wish you could do it all again. And he does write stupid poems and captivating songs, but every now again, he wished his life was a movie, and this wasn't real.

But the pain was real. It was blinding, and that was the problem.

His sister always told him one thing: if he hurts you - don't let him back in. They had their shot, and they blew it.

3. Making yourself bleed isn't worth it.

There was a time he thought about hurting himself physically. He never did though, he'd gone as far to bring a blade to his skin but he never pressed, or cut. Just stared at the cold metal waiting for something, yet he didn't know what.

But emotionally, that was a different story. He did it many times and he didn't even know it.

He always reminded himself about why he wasn't the one who got to hold his love in the night. He always told himself, "If I had done this..." or "Maybe it's how I said it..." To try and convince himself that it was all his fault, but that's the problem, it wasn't.

He knew he shouldn't hurt himself over anything or anyone, but whenever people said that he thought they meant physically.

And Joe always said he wouldn't hurt himself over a boy, but here he was, and he didn't even know it.

4. If he/she wants to leave, let them.

You may be their favourite person in the world and they would do anything for you, but everybody knows deep down you can't make someone stay. You can beg, plead, whatever. But it's the moment when you realise that people act on their first thoughts.
He wanted to leave you. It was his first thought.
She wanted to go. It was her first thought.

You may not believe it, but you're better than a second choice.

Sure, you can change their mind. But is it worth it knowing that deep down, they still want to go?

Joe knew this, he knew it all too well. So when Caspar ran out the apartment, Joe didn't follow. He didn't call, didn't text; he only just sat on the floor, head in his hands.

Nobody wants to be a second choice.

5. You don't have to change yourself.

He wished that he knew this before.

When Caspar rejected him he scurried around trying to change his look, his personality, everything. He became a completely different person, and it wasn't worth it.

Yes, it is always good to become a better person. Change the negative things in your life and learn to love yourself more. After a breakup etc, people do this to show that they're better than their ex and don't need them.

This is good in some ways, but don't become too obsessed as soon the reasons why they loved you will be gone and like I said before, it isn't worth it.

6. Don't give up hope in love completely.

Don't do what Joe did.

7. Don't take it out on others.

Don't do what Joe did.

8. Just because you're clean doesn't mean you won't miss it.

Yes, this is a Taylor Swift lyric. Sometimes the best thing to do is blast Taylor Swift or some other artist and cry. You will have times where you see their favourite flower or eat their favourite food. You will think about them and scold yourself by thinking, "What if?"

There's nothing to say more about this one. You'll miss them.

9. You will find someone else.

It seems like the person who broke you is the last to love you again. But it's not, and you will find someone. Maybe it will take a few weeks, months, years even. However, you will find your companion.

Learn to say goodbye. Teach yourself not only to not hurt yourself and to be kind to yourself, but to not hurt others and be kind to them too. When that someone else comes along, you'll know. You'll be glad you said goodbye to the one who hurt you.

Finally, the most important one of all:
10. It won't last forever.

It seems like this will go on and on and never stop. But one day you'll wake up and you'll think about how you don't need them anymore, and you'll forget their name and their smile and soon enough, they'll be gone.

That's the thing with heartbreak. No matter what you do or where you go, it always seems to be around, and you can't avoid it.

But one day, it's gone just like that.

And so when Caspar left for the last time, Joe didn't feel the burning in his chest. Instead he felt peace, tranquility, he felt fresh. Even when Caspar didn't come back.

You will survive heartbreak.

Your chest burns and your eyes sting and your tummy aches but you will survive it, and soon you can do what Joe did, be able to feel happy again.

Simple or not, there's many more indeed. But for now, those are the ten rules to heartbreak.

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