In 2 years time.(joshaya)

Who are you?

I missed coming to these family meal. As much as I love it at home mums not as good a cook as she is an actress and the best Shawn can do is pop tarts, so I'm looking forward to getting a meal where I won't have to pick around the burned bits. Josh is running late, I hope the snow hasn't caused any issues for him getting here, he'll probably arrive any minute now.

Ok... Matthews just buzzed him up and he should be here any moment. I have to act cool, play it cool. I can hear him in the hall. Act like this isn't what you've been waiting for for 6 months. The doors opening. Just act like you haven't waited your whole time apart to see him walk through your door in his big boots and his woolly hat. But there's someone else there...

Who's that girl?

Act like this doesn't hurt. I stand up and say hello and I introduce myself to her. Act like your unfazed by this, by her. i feel my heart beating like it's about to burst out of my chest. Listen to the story of how they met. I can feel my anger rising. Act happy for them. But tears are coming to, I can't stop them. Act like you need the toilet. I try my hardest not to cry but it's hard.

They met at some college thing about 7 months ago, it was apparently super romantic. I guess we know why it got too hard for him to see me, it was too hard to see me when he knew there was somebody else at home. I wished he'd just told me. Said to me straight out that our 'someday' wasn't going to come. I wish he'd told me everything. I want out of here, I need out of here, I need to go home. But this isn't like the old days, I can't just cut across the hall and climb out of Riley's window. I can't just shuffle down the fire escape. I need to think up a real plan, but this is so hard. I'm trying to focus, I swear I am, but every time I try and think I see them. Them holding hands, them laughing. I've been in here to long, if I stay much longer someone might come looking for me. Why did I rule out the fire escape? I don't need to be mature anymore. I don't need to try and please his highness with everything I do. The fire escape has helped me in the past, why wouldn't it now.