In 2 years time.(joshaya)

Overthinking

Authors note, before we start.
It has been a very long time, very long and for that im sorry. if anyone is still reading this thank you. Feedback always requested too.
Ive been supper busy, working full time plus overtime but in my few Annual leave days i just had i rewatched the show and rediscovered my passion for Joshaya.
I hope you like this chapter, i guess its a little weird so please let me know and changes can always be made...

P.S. Has anyone watched Ginny & Georgia cause just like Joshaya Ginny and Marcus are goals!!!

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I just had to get home. I dont know what was wrong with me. Something about seeing her face just sent me back to where i was, i felt like i had been set back years. I'm not even sure why, me and Josh are happy. He thinks i might be his destiny. I didnt make him leave Whitney, he did that of his own accord. Yes he stayed in New York at the hospital with me instead of going back to Philly with her, but it isnt exactly like i asked him to do that. This bitch was in a COMA.

And the only reason i fell was because i was avoiding them. i fell because i didnt want to have the her or me conversation. I was the bigger person. Then i was the concussed person. Not that Josh was that considerate for me. I left him and Whitney to it. Let them be when he turned up Rileys with her. He was straight up rude to Adrian. He kissed me in the bathroom then tried to out it infront of the whole family. He made me choose. He put that mental toll on me. Something i didnt even dream about doing to him.

And yet, we all make mistakes. I cant let whitney come between us like this again. I know josh, josh is a good guy. Hes one of the best. The way he is with Auggie. He is always there when riley needs him, for anything at all. He looks up to Mr Matthews so much, he just wants to make him proud. The way that he looks after his parents. Being the youngest can be difficult, last to leave the nest and all that but he is always there for everyone in his family, for anyone. Hes always there for me whenever i need him.

I remember this one time, it was just before i started my senior year. Riley was away with her parents, theyd gone on a summer road trip and wouldnt be back for another 2 weeks. They had asked if i had wanted to go with them but i had summer school to attend, apparently just learning life lessons through most of middle school really doesnt help get you into college, and im not like they others, they picked up and book i honestly thought i could wing it. I could not. One night i was walking home from my shift at the Diner, mum figured it would be a good way to help me actually learn in school, you dont want to be doing this your whole life type thing. But anyway, i was walking home from the Diner at about 11pm and i felt like someone was following me. I took my keys between my fingers and took out my phone. I called Riley and Farkle with no answer, sometimes it just helps to be on the phone in these situations. I called my mum, even though i knew that she wouldnt answer, she was on a weekend away with sean and would be at the theatre about now. The guy behind me was getting closer. Walking faster and i was scared. He pushed me against a wall and took my purse. He stole my phone and although i managed to slash him with my keys during the struggle he just hit me in the stomach and took those too. I had nowhere to go. No money, no phone, no keys to my own house. I'd taken the spare into the flat yesterday when mum had left, i just didnt feel safe home alone with a key to my front door under the matt. There was a spare at the Matthews, but obviously they werent home and i couldnt just let myself in, i had no keys. I wasnt sure where else to go, who to go too. I found myself at josh's apartment. I burst into tears as soon as he opened the door and began to slump to the ground. I no longer felt on edge, i had managed to reach a place that i felt safe. Josh caught me and asked me over and over what had happened but i just couldnt get the words out. He placed me on the sofa and sat next to me, then he just held me for hours until i was finally ready to talk. He helped me that night. Made calls so i didnt have to, spoke to the police and my mum. He made me feel so safe when before i had felt so scared. He was everything i needed then and now.

We may have changed a little but the fundamentals are still the same. I love josh and he loves me. He is my safe space and i need to remember that. Im not a kid anymore and i cant let stupid things like whitney creep me out anymore.

I text Josh
"Im sorry for ditching, I do love you. Meet me tomorrow at noon by the fountain, i want to show you around..."