aid • kylo ren

XXV

Kylo stared at the blue figure before him. Starstruck. He could not believe that his grandfather stood before him. He always wanted to meet the man who had inspired him for all these years. But somehow he looked different. This wasn't how Kylo had pictured him. He had pictured him as a man who was darker and more damaged. A more sinister look. What was standing before him was not that. This man was beautiful. Good. But he still had a weary look in his eyes.

"Ben." Anakin spoke to him, his voice booming.

Kylo's eyes widened and he stiffened. He hadn't been called Ben since...

"What are you doing here, Grandfather?" Kylo managed to choke out.

Anakin sighed and moved gracefully to where Kylo was. He was standing in front of him. He was so close Kylo was tempted to reach out and touch him. And if he did, he wasn't sure if his hand would go through and ruin the illusion. But he kept his gloved hand by his side.

"I believe you know why, Ben." Anakin replied.

Kylo looked around him at all the mess he had made. All because of Luna.

"I guess..." Kylo trailed off.

"Ben. You are not who you are trying to be."

Kylo looked away from his grandfather. He didn't want to admit it, but deep down he knew it was true. He was not made for this. But he was stubborn, and didn't want to admit his mistake.

"I am built for this, Grandfather. This is what I was born to do. Just like you" Kylo spoke, emitting false confidence.

Anakin sighed and walked from him, he moved in and out of the ruins of equipment Kylo had destroyed. Kylo's eyes followed him.

"Ben," Anakin begun. "How do you see me?"

Kylo nearly scoffed, for surely he must know. "Grandfather, you were the most ruthless Sith Lord to ever exist. You served your master well. You are my absolute goal."

Anakin looked at his grandson. Tears swelled in his eyes. He still could not believe that he had a grandson. And now that grandson was dragging himself to the dark side. It seemed that it was not too long ago that he found out his had a son – his own flesh and blood. He thought that his beloved wife had died, but she had lived long enough to give him his son, Luke and his daughter, Leia, who then had Ben. He wished he was there, alive, to experience being an old grandfather, instead of being stuck at his 25-year-old self. Anakin reflected briefly on who he was back then. He hated that that was the part of his life that his grandson idolised. The part of hatred and loyalty to darkness and evil. He didn't want that for him.

"You are wrong." Anakin spoke. "Indeed, I was those things. But you don't know the full story, Ben. You don't know the reason I was who I was. Why I became that way."

Kylo frowned at the older man. He was puzzled. This was all he knew – or all that he cared to know. This frowned prompted Anakin to begin his story.

"When I was much younger, when the Republic still existed. I fell in love with a senator. Her name was Padme Amidala and she was the most beautiful creature in the whole galaxy. As a Jedi, we were forbidden to form such attachments, so we married in secret. It was a hard relationship as we were away from each other for weeks or months at a time. And we could not publicly show our affection. The time we had together was sacred. But despite all of this, we loved each other more than anything else in the galaxy."

Anakin had to stop and swallow his tears. He missed Padme so much, and talking about their life together made so many emotions he had closed away come free again.

Kylo could see his grandfather getting upset. He didn't know what to do. Except come to the conclusion that Padme Amidala was the light of his world and that something must have happened.

"In the year 19 BBY, Padme and I learnt that we would be parents. It was the best day of my life. I was so happy, I couldn't wait to be a father. Everything was perfect. Until I had a nightmare that Padme would die in childbirth – I had a dream like this before which lead to my mother's death. I couldn't save my mother, so I wanted to do everything I could to save my love. I learned from a Chancellor Palpatine – who the galaxy would later know as Emperor – that the Dark Side of the force could be manipulated so that it could prevent people from dying. At the time, I did not know that I was being manipulated but then, I became fixated on this falsehood and became someone I wasn't. I did terrible things. I pushed everyone away – Padme, Obi Wan, everyone. I killed one of my masters. I killed innocent young children who looked up to me."

Anakin begun to choke up again. He hated talking about this, this person he was.

"I met Padme later, we talked and she begged me to stop and come home. But I refused. Full of the dark side. I accused her of betraying me by bringing Obi Wan to me. I-"

Anakin stopped to take a breath as he revealed his biggest regret. He could not stop the tears that flowed over his cheeks.

"I choked Padme. I choked my pregnant wife. I remember vividly the way she fell to the ground, unconscious. But I was too blind with anger to process what had happened. She later died. After giving birth to your mother and your uncle. I learnt of her death and it broke me. So I became the man you idolise. Ruthless. Sinister. But I was alone. And sad. I had nothing left. Everything I loved was gone."

Kylo was left stunned at the story of his grandfather's life. Hearing the story, he now remembered Luke mentioning this during one training session. How could he forget this story?

"I believe you know the rest of the story?"

Kylo nodded. Too stunned for words. He remembered now.

"I am thankful to my son that I was able to see the Light and be here today."

Anakin looked at Kylo, he could sense and shift in his energy.

"I don't want you to make the same mistake I did. Don't push away the ones you love for the Dark Side. That path is dangerous and will leave you with nothing. Alone and sad. Your power will not make you happy."

Kylo looked at him, "What if that doesn't happen to me?"

"It will happen. It might not happen tomorrow, or next week. But eventually you will realise your mistake and how alone you are."

Kylo nodded. He understood, but he wasn't ready to give it up yet.

"I know you have someone you love. Luna? I believe she is with child."

Kylo's head cocked up and he stiffened.

"You know she's changed something in you. You're just afraid to face it. You love her."

Kylo let out a breath he didn't know he was holding. He did. He did love her. He loved her a lot. And his grandfather was right. He was afraid. He was afraid of the unknown and the change he was facing.

Anakin saw the shift in Kylo's body language and he knew that he had gotten through to him. He smiled.

"What if it's too late?" Kylo asked, his voice so small.

"It is never too late, Ben. Now go, fix your mistake."

Kylo looked at his grandfather. A man he now saw in a different light. He idolised him differently now.

"Thank you, Grandfather."

Anakin smiled. "May the force be with you, Ben. Remember, I love you."

Kylo left out a small breath as he smiled. It was nice to hear that. He begun to turn away and leave the room when Anakin called out to him.

"Ben!"

"Yes, grandfather?" Kylo turned back to face him.

"Your father forgives you. So forgive yourself. He loves you. Always."

Then Anakin disappeared leaving Kylo alone.

Kylo tried to keep the tears from falling from him eyes, but he failed and they flowed out endlessly, he sobbed hard. He fell to his knees. All his emotions he had kept bottled up finally free. After many minutes, he wiped his eyes and put on his mask, ready to redeem himself.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

no, i'm not crying? i just have a lightsaber in my eye