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sweet 16 pt.2
arihah

"Lil Bro, c'mon!" Manny yelled.

I walked out my room into the living room to see Manny standing there. "When did I become a boy?" I asked him.

"You always around us so now you're labeled a her-he."

"You sound stupid Emmanuel," Jaicyon said putting on his shoes. "Always making up some words."

"Nah the words I be saying in the dictionary."

"What dictionary? Webster?"

"Nah, EmmanuelNary. Besides how would you know what words in the dictionary? You don't even read!"

"Where can I purchase EmmanuelNary?" I asked.

"You see the office over there?" He pointed to where the couch was. "Yeah that area. See at the moment everything isn't printed out but give me a few weeks and I'll give you half off."

"How much?"

"The original price is $10.00 but since I'm giving it to you for half off it'll be– hold on," he counted his fingers. "Mhm, yeah it would be $6.00."

"See this is why I call you dumb. Let's go Arihah," Jai said walking out.

"Black peoples never wanna support other black businesses! Nah bruh, come here Jaicyon we gon' discuss this," he said walking out the door along with Jai.

Shaking my head I followed suite. It was Friday and the boys–except Dre, were taking me to the Brooklyn Museum and the Sugar Factory. I've always loved art even though I couldn't draw. I was a writer, I liked to bring things to life in my words so in a way, I am an artist.

Jaicyon on the other hand drew. He sold his art work and got some great money for his work. When he draws he puts his all in to it and I love watching him. Yesterday he sketched a picture of me while I was napping. He left it by my bed so I could see it when I woke up.

Drelin said he had somethings to do for his store and there was no need to complain because he was a boss and bosses had boss priorities to take care of.

Siting in the backseat I thought about the last few weeks. I've been feeling so great this week I have the urge to not take my medicine but I know that wouldn't be a great idea. Having PTSD kept me up a lot of nights because I was scared of my dreams, well nightmares. I always felt like those boys were going to come back after the killing of Max. One boy is in jail but not for anything associated with Maxwell's death. Then experiencing my other cousins death, Jamel. He was my play cousin but he was family. We were the same age  and I think that's why we were close.

He was in the pool and couldn't breathe. My older cousins pulled him out and he was still breathing but I was panicking. Once the ambulance came they told us he was dead. The worse part was holding his hand when he took his last breath. I was so in shock I forgot at the moment I could've gave him CPR since I was the only person that knew how. But instead, I was too busy loosing my mind.

Countless nights I would wake up because the devil side of Jamel would make me wake up in tears. It's like those dreams don't stop and it drives me crazy.

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