Behind the Scenes of Life

Chapter 13

The thing that you don’t know about Chace is that he can be so uncaring at times. If it doesn’t affect him, then it’s not his problem. Chace is arrogant, conceited, rude, cold, callous, hard to please, insolent, foolish, thoughtless, useless, adverse, haughty, unpleasant, deceitful, injurious, villainous, corrupt, harsh, detrimental, unprincipled and imperceptive. You can never be sure of his mood so it’s safer to rather avoid him. I don’t think he even really has friends. I’d have been the best thing he had; too bad he decided to give up. It truly is his loss. He’ll realise that one day. Despite all these negative things about Chace, I still like to believe that there’s something about him that needs to be loved, pitied even. I like to believe that he is unaware of the bad words he personifies. Or he has a really troubled life (can’t be), otherwise he’s just messed up.

I don’t know what happens in his life so I can’t judge; I’m in no position to the same way no one can judge what I do. No one really ever knows another person.

Sometimes I look at Chace and wonder what it is that I like about him. I can almost convince myself that I don’t like him. He’s not unnaturally sexy, he’s rather plain actually. I’d just stare at him and wonder. At those moments I can usually understand what it is I feel for him. Most times the emotion it comes down to is pity. I pity him and I don’t know why.

There’s something in him that’s so sad. I haven’t figured it out yet, not sure I ever will, but what I do know is that he’ll have to come to terms with his life before he’ll ever be able to have a really open and honest relationship. We probably wouldn’t have worked out anyway. The same way he has to sort out his life, I have to too. I have to learn to love myself and accept the way God made me. That will come with time. Right now all I can do is live.

One Saturday night Tisha and I watched Kuch Kuch Hota Hai. I had borrowed the movie from Zara. I wanted us to watch Om Shanti Om too, but Zara didn’t have that movie anymore. Tisha turned out to love the movie as well.

“What did you think?” I asked Tisha at the end of the movie. It was late since it was a rather long movie.

“I love it.” She enthused.

“You know hey, the only thing I would’ve done differently is the ending. If I were Anjali, I wouldn’t have gone back to Rahul, not after everything that happened.”

“Me too.”

If my life ever had to play out like in Kuch Kuch Hota Hai, I already knew what I would do.

“Exams is coming up again.” I said to Art during one Physics period.

“Don’t remind me.” She said looking up from her book. Ms Piner was in front of the classes doing some chemistry revision. Art never paid attention in Physics. She either read a book or slept.

“Start studying physics yet?”

She gave me an incredulous look. “I’m not studying physics.”

Art didn’t care about her physics mark. In her words she didn’t need it.

After Physics was Accounting. It was the first time that I wasn’t excited to go. There was nothing to look forward to anymore. The Accounting period went along with no mention of Chace from me or Kina. I didn’t want to bring it up as I knew I was just going to hear things that I had no interest in hearing. It was rather depressing.

At home that day, my two dogs- Bully and Vinvy- got into a huge fight over food. They had had a lot of fights during the year, but this turned out to be one of their biggest. Bully had bitten Vinvy’s leg broken. There was blood all over in the yard. My father and I took Vinvy to a vet where he got an injection. The next day my father took him to another vet. I found out a few days later that they had put him out. His injuries had been too bad. I was rather unhappy.