You Are My Toxin - An R5 Fan Fiction

Chapter 16

"God damn it! Why cant you just.... UGHH!!!" I growled through the door.

Ryland pounded a hand on the door, "Becca, I'm sorry. Open the door."

"You don't sound very sorry!" I shrieked back at him.

There was an awkward silence before Ryland pressed his forehead to the door with a thin thump, "Life is full of hell...." He whispered.

I stopped in mid-frustration, "....what?"

There was more silence and then another whisper, "Sometimes we just gotta hike up our skirts and face our problems head on...."

I stepped to the door, pressing an ear to it, "What are you talking about?"

"That's the last thing he said to me...." the door was shaking. "You left for a moment, to go to the bathroom and Rocky and I were alone. He told me that something bad was going to happen soon and I shouldn't worry about it. I, of course, thought he was insane. But Rocky still told me, 'shit happens. A human life is full of hell and you just have to hike up your skirt and face it head on. Because it's the only way you'll ever fix it.'"

I pressed a finger tip to the door, "He really said that?"

Ryland mumbled an answer and sighed, "Rebecca, I'm sorry. I didn't want to tell you right away because of the shock. My family only knew because of the phone call."

"phone call?" I slid my hand to the doorknob.

"The hospital called my parents before I even knew Rocky had passed. And Ross told me to come over to the house." Ryland was crying. "I am really sorry. I should have told you..." He faded away.

I waited a moment before opening the door. I glanced back to my bedroom. My open suitcase still sat untouched on the comforter. I opened the door and watched Ryland leave out the front door, in tears.

~~

This wasn't right. Ryland has been gone for hours. It's all my fault, isn't it?

I sat in my own pity on the couch and picked at the sides of my notebook. I wanted to write everything that has ever bested me in the book, along with ever hell I've caused. My thoughts were stopped by my phone singing 'Baby Got Back!'

Messages from: That One Tall Kid

Ross: hey? U doin good?

Me: yeah. Do u know where Ry is? He kinda stormed out a few hours ago....

Ross: ?

Ross: I haven't seen him. That's not really like him, ya know....to storm out.

Me: I know.....i'm getting worried....

I stared at my phone for a long time. Where could Ryland have gone? There wasn't really anywhere else in the city that he could stay the night.

I looked back down to my "list" of my faults.

Dear Ryland,

I'm sorry. I forgive you. I'm sorry for all the stuff that happened in your family because of me. It's all my fault. I'm sorry. I"

I swallowed my tears. I set my notepad down on the coffee table and stood with shaking legs. That was all I needed to say to him now. All I really could. I stumbled towards my room. I shuffled along my room with my pregnant body, shoving things left and right into the bag on my bed.