Tomorrow Never Dies

Chapter 41 - "Get out"

Trigger warning: this chapter contains themes of suicide and self harm
*Flora's POV*
"Eight months?" My voice broke as I looked at Michael, sat in the bath, shivering from the cold water. "Why?"

"There's- They- We might be getting signed to a major record label and accompanying a band on tour."

"How long have you known?" I asked, starting to shake again.

"We got asked just after the showcase."

"And you were going to tell me when?"

"I don't know, Flora." He sighed.

"Get out!" Tears were rolling down my face, and I wiped them away furiously but they fell quicker than I could get rid of them. "Get out." He looked at me sadly, then climbed out of the bathtub and left my dorm. I slammed the door behind him and I finally gave in. I had been battling the thoughts all morning, feeling so guilty about the mere possibility that I might have slept with Sampson.

And yet Michael was willing to put our relationship at risk by not telling me. Had he told me as soon as he found out, we might have been able to work it out, but by not telling me I felt as if he was going to break up with me so he didn't have to worry about long distance.

I reached for my antidepressants and shook all the pills in the bottle out onto my hand. There was a fair amount of pills lying in my palm but for good measure I added a couple of paracetamol to the mix. I tipped them down my throat and washed them down with vodka, grabbing the bottle from underneath my bed. I sat down as the dizziness began, then everything went black.

*Michael's POV*
I knocked on Flora's door, hoping I could talk to her. I felt like shit for not telling her about Harry's offer, but I didn't really know where to start. Yeah, hi, I love you, I'm going to support one of the biggest bands in the world on tour for eight months and when I asked they told me I couldn't bring you sorry. That conversation would have gone wonderful!

She didn't even say anything and I started to get worried.

"Flora?" No reply. "Fuck, Flora, let me in." Nothing. I tried the door, but it was locked. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, then put my foot in the door. It swung open, slightly bent off its hinges, and I saw my girlfriend lying passed out with a vodka bottle in her hand, the drink spilling into her hair, and empty pill bottles lying on the floor next to her. I fell on my knees, grabbing her wrist, trying to find a pulse, but it was so faint I could barely feel anything.

Grace appeared in the doorway behind me, and she seemed to understand what was happening without asking. She immediately called the ambulance, and as she spoke to the operator I held Flora close, trying to get her to throw up what she'd taken, but nothing came. I just held her to my chest, praying for her to open those beautiful eyes that I'd fallen in love with. Waiting to hear that laugh that came as I made a bad joke, or did something stupid, or even before she was about to cry. Hoping with all my might that I'd feel her move in my arms.

But she stayed still.

The paramedics arrived and took her in, doing whatever needed to be done, and I watched helplessly as they loaded my girlfriend into an ambulance and Grace followed her in. They pushed me out as I tried to get in, saying only one person could ride with Flora, and I stepped out and watched the ambulance drive off.

I collapsed onto a bench and rubbed my eyes trying not to cry. Guys didn't cry. I had to be strong. But the emotions were too much and before I knew it I was sobbing. I jogged back to my dorm, my hood up to cover my face, and curled up on my bed, so close to the wall it was as if I was trying to become one with the brickwork.

"Mike?" I looked up at Luke across the room. "What happened?"

"Flora tried to kill herself and it's my fault," I mumbled.

"Why? What did you do that makes you think that?"

"I didn't tell her about the whole One Direction thing."

"Oh," he said. "I'm sure that's not the only thing, one fight wouldn't be enough to trigger that kind of reaction would it?"

"I don't know," I sighed. "Maybe I should just stay away from her. She said that she hadn't had a panic attack for ages before me, and now she's having them almost every day."

"I doubt that you're the cause of her panic attacks," he told me, and I could tell he was trying to comfort me but I felt like nothing would work but a jamming session. I pulled out my guitar from underneath the bed and watched as Luke did the same. I played the opening chords to The Drugs Don't Work by The Verve, and we played and sang until well after the sun went down and the room went dark.

*****
V short chapter but who cared its v dramatic and its late but i wanted to update
So prom was a thing that happened yesterday and it was amazing and the dessert was wow and my date got me a corsage what a cutie
I lasted 10 minutes at after prom before the room started spinning, dont drink when youre ill kids
Also news: my crush told me that she "REALLY" likes me today yay

Song of the chapter: the drugs dont work by the verve