ever since we met // r.r [✔️]

Chapter 12: Uninvent Hate

*Your POV*

Ryan and I went out for lunch and met up with the rest of the band afterwards at the tour bus.

"Does everyone have everything?" Zack asked and everyone answered with some form of 'yes'.

     I'm sitting next to Ryan, his arm is around me. He's using his phone and he's hiding it from me, which he has never done before. I try to look at the screen and he keeps hiding it. I decide to grab for it but he yanked it away.

"Y/n, stop. It's my phone," Ryan says bitterly.

"I know that but why are you hiding it from me? You never do this, Ry," I say.

"Just... just don't worry about it."

"That doesn't help," I scoff.

"Fine. Take the fucking thing," he yelled, handing me his phone.

      It was opened on twitter and it was a picture of Ryan and I. I looked through the replies. Most of them said something along the lines of "aww you guys are so cute" but others said that I don't love Ryan, how I don't deserve him, or some other form of hate.

I handed Ryan his phone back and got up. "Y/n, where are you going?" Ryan asked and I didn't answer him.

      I walked over to Ryan's bunk and climbed in, closing the curtain. I curl into a ball and my thoughts take over and my anxiety kicking in. Fuck. I don't deserve Ryan. Ryan is way to good for me. Ryan deserves someone better than me.

"Baby, come here," I here Ryan say.

He opens the curtain to his bunks and grabs me from it. He keeps his arms tightly wrapped around me. I squirm and try to get out from his grasp but I'm too weak. I gave up and let his hold me in his lap, on the floor of the bus.

"Baby, I just need you to calm down. It will be ok," Ryan whispers and I cry into his chest, gripping the fabric of his t-shirt.

"I'll take care of it, ok?" He says and I nod. "Let's go sit with everyone else." He adds before scooping me up into his arms.

      He carries me to the lounge area and he sits down on the couch and holds me in his lap. Ryan makes me feel safe from the world and when I'm away from him I feel incredibly vulnerable and helpless. I just want my stupid anxiety to go the hell away.