Finding Me

Chapter 24

Emma sighs again, but I don't stay to hear how she replies. I can't listen to any more of the conversation. I have no idea what they're talking about, so it's an even worse feeling when I know it has something to do with me.

I go back up to my room and close my door. I go out to my balcony and listen to the tide rolling in and out. Just like it always does, it helps me relax. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. A small breeze blows my hair gently.

I keep my eyes closed and take another deep breath. I feel so much better now. I slowly open my eyes and turn on my balcony lights. I sit down in my chair and close my eyes again.

It's finally sinking in that I'm graduating in just a couple of days. Soon, I'll be receiving my diploma and will be able to to go to college somewhere. I have a whole future waiting for me, and I'm ready to take it on. I've always been scared of what comes next, but this time, I'm eager for it.

For the first time in my life, I'm in a good place emotionally. It took a long time to get to this point, but now that I'm at this point, I see that without going through with what I did go through, I wouldn't be who I am. That's so huge for me because I'm proud of who I am.

Emma was right about holding onto the pieces of who I am. I still don't have all of my pieces, but I think that it's impossible to have all the pieces. It's a never ending puzzle. What's the point of life without a little mystery to keep us going?

I smile at that thought. I don't exactly know what's next for me, but I know that it will be another winding road. It's scary to not know what's next, but I know that I'll be okay this time because I've found me, and that's something I won't lose.

"Maya?" Emma's voice interrupts my thoughts.

I open my eyes and see her standing in the doorway of my balcony doors. "Hmm?" I question.

She smiles at me. "I was just making sure you're okay. How did it go with Nicole?"

"Good. She's really nice and eager to help put this event together. She even gave me a packet of all the important details," I reply.

Emma smiles and pulls the packet out from behind her back. "Is this the packet?"

My eyes widen, and I mentally smack my face. "Thank you. I can't believe I left it down there. I can't lose this. It's my brain."

She laughs and looks out at the view. "Mind if I turn the lights on the rail off?"

I shake my head, and she turns them off. I look over at her as she looks up and stares at the sky. I also look up and am greeted by a wonderful sight of millions of stars twinkling in the night sky. It's so beautiful.

Emma's soft voice asks, "Are you ready to go off into the world by yourself?"

I whisper back, "I think so."

"Good," is all she says.

We stand staring up at the sky for what seems like forever. It's peaceful. Finally, Emma decides to call it a night and hugs me goodnight before leaving me alone on the balcony. I close my eyes after she leaves and let my thoughts ramble once again.

All of a sudden, it comes to me. My eyes fly open, and I almost faint from shock. I hurry back inside my room and turn my laptop on. I click open a new file and stare at the blank page. This is it. This is the inspiration I've been waiting for.

I smile and begin typing away. For the first time in forever, I'm writing something that I'm truly passionate about. I'm writing about something that matters, and I have a feeling that the end result is going to be something that I can be extremely happy about.