Finding Me

Chapter 19

I close my eyes and listen to the tide rolling in and out. I take a deep breath in and a deep breath out. I begin to feel a cloud of peace fall over me, and I begin to relax.

"Maya?" Alli's voice asks.

I sigh but keep my eyes closed. "Hmmm?"

"What happened in there?" she asks quietly.

I slowly open my eyes as she sits down beside me. "I don't know. I guess I couldn't take that my uncle thinks this town is full of amazing and loving people."

"You and I both know that there's more to that," Alli tells me.

I sigh again. "I wish you didn't know me so well."

Alli laughs. "But I do, so what's up?"

"He's clueless about how badly everyone really treats me. How can he not see that I literally have only two friends here? How does he not notice that I'm not invited to anything in this town? With a town so small, wouldn't he somehow learn about how the way people see me?" I say, letting some of my irritation out.

Alli gives me an amused smile. "You would think that he could, but he's a guy; guys stink at noticing things. Trust me, my dad does the same thing. But, don't forget that it's easy for you to cover up what you're really feeling. I did it when I was getting bullied."

"So, what are you telling me?" I ask.

"You can't blame it all on your uncle. Sure, he stinks at noticing things, but you're also a pretty good actress," Alli explains.

I take a deep breath and close my eyes again, facing the ocean again. "Why are you always right?" I groan.

She laughs as I hear Nick ask, "What's so funny?"

"Nothing," Alli replies.

I open my eyes, and Nick sits down on my other side. He gives me a look, asking me if I'm okay. I don't respond; I close my eyes and take another deep breath. I'm getting really good at taking these deep breaths now.

I tell him, "She beat you to it. She's helped me sort through it all. Though, I must tell you that she has quite a different tactic than you."

Nick lets out his deep, rich laugh, sending a feeling of warmth through me. He replies, "And what is the difference between our tactics?"

"You," I begin, pointing at him, "say the things I don't want to hear with more of a commanding voice. Alli tends to be gentler."

"Which do you prefer?" Nick asks me, staring at me.

I meet his eyes and notice that it seems like he's trying to say something through them, but I can't tell. I just softly say, "I don't know if I can choose. After all, I don't want either of you to become conceited."

Nick smiles and breaks his gaze away from me. He stares at the ocean, and I turn my attention to Alli because she's tapping me on the shoulder. When I turn to look at her, she raises her eyebrow.

"What?" I whisper to her.

Alli shakes her head. "Later," she whispers back.

It's my turn to raise my eyebrow, but Alli just smiles and also turns her attention to the ocean. I sigh and join Nick and Alli in staring at the ocean. We all sit for what seems like forever.

The only reason we finally move to go back to Nick's house is because Alli has to leave. I give her a hug goodbye once we get to his house. She hugs me back and even hugs Nick, Emma, and Mrs. Caldwell. She doesn't give one to my uncle because he left to get some more work done.