Three Words

Chapter 34 - Tobias

His eyes soften.  "It's ok Tobias.  I know you're upset.  We all are."  He takes a deep breath in, looking down as a tear begins to roll down his cheek, continuing, "There was a disgruntled family member at Beatrice's work looking for her.  He apparently wanted to blame someone for the death of his grandfather."  He takes another shaky breath in, his voice coming out almost a croak.  "Tori said Beatrice told everyone to go out the window to escape.  She told Tori she would be the only one that stood a chance to stop the guy.  She...she was able to knock him unconscious, but not before he managed to shoot her in the shoulder and stab her in the leg during the struggle.  She's lost a lot of blood according to the doctors.  They are having to repair her leg and remove the bullet that was lodged in her shoulder." 

My blood feels cold as each of his words sinks into my brain.  Andrew's story now fits with the sounds I heard on the phone.  Tethered to my desk, I listened in horror to the sounds that will forever be branded inside my head.  I screamed into the phone for Tris to answer; hoping to hear her.  It was the worst kind of torture I have ever experienced. 

I can still hear her frantic muffled voice and the sound of footsteps.  I can hear the guy's muffled voice as he taunted her.  I can hear the static of the gun fire ringing in my ear.   The endless silence, hoping for some kind of indication that she was ok.  The gun firing again and how he probably hit her that time.  The guy's howl of pain.  Her screams as he probably stabbed her.  How he yelled at her, but then a shriek of pain from him.  Then I heard nothing.      

I look down, as I feel a tear begin to fall.  "I heard her screaming."  I say barely above a whisper. 

Andrew pauses, clearly shocked.  "What?" 

I can't look him in the eyes right now.  I broke my promise to her.  The guilt and pain I've been holding back surges through me that I wasn't there to protect her, making the tears fall faster.  She was worried this morning, and I reassured her that nothing was going to happen to me or Zoe.  It turned out she was the one I needed to worry about. 

"I heard her scream on the phone.  I think she was about to call me on her lunch break when the guy attacked the building."  I take a shuddering breathe in.  Unable to stop the flow of tears.  My voice breaking on my words, "She must not have hung up.  I heard the gun fire and her screams the most clearly." 

Andrew suddenly pulls me into a fierce hug, and what little resolve I have left is gone.  I start sobbing into his shoulder, gripping him for support.  I'm scared of losing Tris.  Hearing her screams, knowing how much pain she was in, and being told how many lives she saved today because she selflessly put herself in harm's way was enough to send me into a deep pit of despair.  But now that I'm being hugged by her father, it's proving to be too much.  

He continues to hold me, not saying anything.  I find my voice suddenly being held like this.  By someone who has shown me what a father should be.  "Andrew, I was going to call you this weekend.  I was going to ask you for her hand."  I begin shaking at my words, afraid I will never have the future I so badly want.  "I was also going to ask you if I could adopt Zoe.  I've been looking into what was required to start that process.  I didn't want to be a step-father.  I wanted her to have a father again."  My head is spinning, as I feel myself tip toward the abyss of hopelessness.  "I couldn't protect her, Andrew!  I promised to take care of her, and I didn't.  I can't lose her!  I'm so sorry."

I lose the ability to speak after that, the sobbing starting again.  The only thing he does is hold me tighter, just comforting me.  Andrew pulls back after a few minutes, placing his hands on my shoulders, "Tobias, this is not your fault in the slightest.  You did nothing wrong.  If I know my daughter at all, she is fighting hard right now.  She wouldn't give up on life that easily, especially when she has Zoe and you.  You gave her everything she needed to protect herself.  It could have been so much worse.  She saved so many people."  Tears continue falling down his face as he smiles weakly, "I would be happy to have you as a son.  I know you will protect both my girls.  I couldn't ask for someone better than you.  You have my blessing."