Love is Free!

Avoiding Me?

Rin POV:

When I got home from Austrailia, I was happy to be back in Japan. I missed my family alot, so I stopped by their place before going to school. Even though I love my family dearly, the person I really wanted to see wasn't actually my family member... He used to be my best friend. Haru. I went to see him at one of his old favorite mackeral stands, but he just blushed and ran away. He hasn't talked to me at all.

I don't know what I did wrong. I mean, I did go to a foreign country for 4 years. But I'm back home now, and I'm sick and tired of feeling guilty. I went there to persue my dream, and I'm sure that if given the chance to do something like that, Haru would have gone too!

But...

I don't want to lose Haru. When my dad died, Haru was there for me. He was the one who encouraged me to stand back up, wipe away my tears and get my mind off of the grief. Yet, 4 years ago I left without any way to contact him... Does he hate me now? I couldn't bear it if Haru hated me.

I don't know what to think at this point. I don't want to give up on Haru, but it's really difficult to be near him and he himself put up that boundary. I think I'm in love, but I'm not quite sure. I don't know what romantic love feels like. But, if it is love, then... Who the hell does gives a damn if the person I'm in love with is avoiding me?!

I need to get him off my mind so I can do my homework. Why am I even thinking about him if he so clearly doesn't want to see me? I shouldn't get my hopes up. I don't know what he's gone through these past 4 years.

I wonder what happened to his parents. I went to the house they lived in, but no one was home. When I talked to the neighbors, they said Haru still lived there but he lived alone.

Trying to study was clearly not working, no I flopped on the bunk in the dorm and covered my eyes. I miss Haru. I miss the swim team. I miss my old friends. What did I do to deserve this confusion?

I ask, but I already know. I left them all behind to go to Australia.

The dorm door opened and Nitori walked in.

"Senpai? What's wrong?" He sat beside me and tried to pry my arm off my face. He's nowhere near as strong as me, so it didn't work very well.

"Senpai, please tell me what's wrong. Is it your family? Do you miss Australia? Aee you homesick?"

"Nitori, please just shut up. I don't wanna talk." Nitori slumped off the bed and simply agreed. He sat on the top bunk and started reading. It was quiet for a while.

At lights out I curled on the bed and tried to sleep. I tossed and turned until I could no longer get comfortable. My whole body feels hot and I just couldn't sleep.

I stood up and walked out to go to the pool. I swam laps and timed myself until my arms wouldn't move anymore. Then I pulled myself out of the water and got showered off, returning to the dorm room.

Nitori was already asleep when I got back, snoring lightly. I crawled back into bed and closed my eyes, hoping that a tired body would make for a tired mind.

I made up my mind while I was swimming that I'd go visit Haru tomorrow and get some answers. I wanted to know why he was avoiding me. I wanted to know what happened to the group in the last 4 years. If he didn't wanna see me after that, then fine. But I need to at least get some closure.

With that descision made, I was able to fall asleep farely quickly.