Harry's Slave (HARRY STYLES FF)

40

Chapter 40
Harry's Slave
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Harry's P.O.V
before overdosing

 

                                             As I got back to my house, my legs started to shake. My heart started beating so fast. My heart had no idea it was going to stop beating forever. My head was pounding. My hands were sweating. As I opened the cold door a cold breeze escaped from the house. I slowly walked in the house and closed the door behind me. My legs shaking even more now. Even though I want to do this, I'm scared. I'm scared. There I said it, I'm scared as fuck.

As I slammed the door I heard nothing  but my heart beating. Honestly I think I'm going to have a heart attack. Maybe that will be the reason for my death. Probably not the case though. Even though I was ready to die. My body wasn't. It was scared. 

I walked through the house to get the pills. I couldn't read the label my head was hurting too much to even think straight. I pulled myself out of the bathroom and into my room. I took a seat on the bed as I opened the box.

I poured a couple into my hand. I couldn't count them. Maybe fifteen maybe less or maybe more. I couldn't count. I couldn't do anything. I was helpless.

I looked at the pills and started thinking about my life. I tried at least. I remembered all the good times. I remembered the bad times too.

I remember when I first saw Scarlett. I remember the first thing she said to me too. I remember what she was wearing that day.

Even though I wanted to love Scarlett and hold her in my arms. How much I wanted to teach her football. How much I wanted to watch a scary movie with her at the movies. I really wanted to grow old with her. I wanted to have kids with her. I wanted to love her. I really wanted to love her but I couldn't. I just couldn't.

I couldn't.

I just now thought how much I have been told I couldn't do this. Or I couldn't say this. I have been told what to do my entire life. I wanted to have my thirteenth birthday party at the skating rink. My father said no it was too lame. I said I wanted some less manly shirts for my sixteenth birthday. My father said no. All I got was a white shirt with some oversized blue jeans. 

I couldn't talk to him.
I couldn't tell her
I couldn't repeat what he said.
I couldn't go there.
I couldn't do that.
I couldn't
I couldn't 

Wow I'm over thinking everything right now. Maybe this is excuse for a couple more couple of minutes of air. A couple more minutes for my heart to beat.

I was going to use that time wisely so I could look over at my dreadful life. It sucked to be honest, but then again I'm glad I had my mother and sister. I'm glad I meet Scarlett. I'm not glad that I had my father. He is a cruel man and he wouldn't give a dime to see me breath one more time. He hates me and I hate him. It's mutual.

I would've liked to seen my mother and sister before I made this decision but I already made this decision up.

My hands are shaking as the pills are covering my rather large hands with multiple tattoo's on it. I looked around the room one last time as I swallowed the pills. They went down nicely.