Honor (Kickstarting My Heart # 1) (UNDER CONSTRUCTION)

20~ What Would I Do Without You?

"Money?" I gasped, staring into the box. It wasn't just a few hundred, no there had to be close to a million dollars in the duffel bag of money we had found in the box.

"Shit. H. . . how did he get all of this?" Andy asked, picking up another wad of cash. I shook my head, my jaw still on the ground.

"Read the note." I finally replied, handing Andy the card. He pulled it out of the envelope and read it aloud.

"'Dear Ariel and Andy,

By the time you guys will receive this, I probably won't be around. Maybe because I left and I'm not coming back. . . or maybe because I just gave up. Whichever it may be, I wanted you guys to have this. I got myself in way to deep, I became everything I feared. With Coach Carter and all the dealers and I was terrified what might happen to Kasey and the baby. . . I just couldn't do it anymore.

I'm sorry, Andy, man. I should have come to you, but I didn't want you involved with all the crap I was in. And Ari, what am I supposed to say? Sorry won't justify for me leaving you, but I hope the money does.

I want you both to split it. Take the money and pay for college, both of you. I know you are both smart enough, and Andy, you definitely have enough talent for a scholarship, but think of it as a way not to have to pay loans. If you decide to spend the money another way, to put it in a bank account for future use, then go ahead. I just want you guys to be happy.

I'm so sorry. I love you both. Take care of yourselves.

Bren

P.S I give you guys my blessing.

"It's a suicide note." Andy growled once he was done reading. I shook my head, wiping the tears from my cheek.

"Maybe it wasn't. Maybe he wrote it before he knew what was going to happen. Maybe he. . ." Andy grabbed my wrists in his hands, his eyes dark.

"Stop excusing him, Ariel. He killed himself and nearly took me down with him. It wasn't an accident." I shook my head, trying to break my hands out of his grasp.

"No! No, Andy. Y. . . you don't know that. He. . ." It was then that I could feel everything start to fall apart. The last thread of everything that had happened finally coming undone. Andy wasn't wrong, it was only because I so desperately wanted to believe that he was that I was taking everything out on him.

"Ariel." His voice cracked as he pulled me against his chest. I couldn't stop myself from sobbing, from completely falling apart in Andy's arms. When I finally was able to speak, I gripped Andy's shirt in my hands.

"He. . . he could have killed you. H. . . why would he do that? You could have died too." I whispered. He shook his head, his eyes distant.

"I have flashes of what happened, Ari. I remember that he wasn't acting right, he wasn't in the right state of mind. I even tried to stop the car, but it was too late. He. . . he must have been on something, he knew he wanted to die." I buried my face in his shirt, my breath shaky.

"It's his fault. That stupid coach. I. . . I wish he was the one that died! I wish. . ."

"It wasn't just Coach, Ariel. Bren was in too deep with his dealers too. He was done, he would have either gotten killed or thrown in prison. That's what's going to happen to Coach. It'll be worse then dying. That piece of crap will rot in prison, maybe he'll even die." I bit down on my lip so hard that I could taste blood.

"W. . . when are we going to turn him in? We don't even have proof, Andy." I snapped. He shook his head again, his grip tightening on my arm.

"I have an idea. Your dad is friends with an officer, right?" He asked. I nodded slowly, not sure where he was going with the conversation.

"Come on, Ari. We have to get this inside and talk to your dad." He stood up and pulled me up with him. I grabbed the duffle bag from the ground and let Andy lead me into the house.

     ***

"A wire?"

"A wire." Andy confirmed, stroking my cheek. I stared up at the blue ceiling.

"Do you really think that'll work, Andy? Do you honestly think he'll tell you what he was doing with Bren?" Andy shrugged, his eyes bright in my dark room.

"I have to try, Ari. I. . . I'm going to pretend like I know exactly what he was making Bren do. . . and act like I want part of it. Once he shows me the drugs the cops will have enough evidence to arrest him." I nodded again.

"When are you going to do it?" I asked, turning on to my side to face him.

"After the last playoff game. If we make it to the championship, we'll have a different coach, I can promise you that." I thought about his response for a minute.

"T. . . the next game is the last playoff game, Andy." It came out as somewhat of a whimper.

"I'll be fine, Ariel. I promise. You'll be out on the bleachers and I'll be coming out to you in no time." I leaned forward and closed the few inches that had been in between us. His hands immediately slipped up and tangled themselves in my hair.

"You could have died." I whispered, trying to ignore the burning in my stomach and all over my body.

"I know, Ari. But I didn't. Maybe that was for a reason." He leaned back down and went to my neck. I tried to speak but all that left my mouth was a moan.

"Andy." I finally said. He lifted his head up again.

"I'm ready." I added. He smiled as he leaned down to kiss me once more, and everything faded into a blur.

***

"Hey, Princess. What are you doing in here?" I looked up at my dad, giving him a half smile.

"Trying to let go." I replied. He sat down on Brendan's bed beside me and ruffled my hair.

"Sweetheart, we'll never completely let him go. Brendan was our son, your brother. Andrew's best friend. He'll always live on inside of us, in our memories, in our thoughts, even in some of the songs we listen too. Ariel, do you want to hear something interesting?" I nodded, waiting for my dad to continue.

"Letting go isn't the answer. Most people go on with their life thinking that they let go of their lost loved one, but the truth is that they are always there with them. In their shadow, in the trees, in the beautiful world that we live in. The most important thing that people need to know about letting go, is that the person is never truly gone." I laid my head against my dad's shoulder, smiling.

"When did you become so smart, Dad?" He chuckled.

"I've always been smart. It's just that you don't think of your old man that way." I laughed, nodding.

"Now how about we go get your mother and go see a movie or something. Spend some quality time together." I grinned.

"That sounds great. D. . . do you mind if I invite Andy." My dad shook his head, standing up.

"Of course not, sweetie. He's part of the family, he always has been." I smiled at the door as it swung shut gently behind my father.

***AN****

I hope you guys enjoyed! The next few chapters will be about taking down the Coach.

Let me know what you guys thought!

~ChasingMadness24