Away!

Chapter 30

When i wake up i still hear Tobias heavy breathing next to me. I quietly yawn and then slowly sit up. I have to hold back a groan. Pain races through my stomach. "Tris?" I hear Tobias voice, still heavy from sleep. "Are you alright?" Aparently i didn't stiffle my groan good enough. "Yes i am. My side just hurts." He sits up next to me and i rest my head against his shoulder. "I am going to kill these guys." He mumbles in my ear. I shake my head no. "No. I have to do it. Otherwise they will think i can't stick up for myself." He sighs. "I guess you are right." I nod and pull away. "Of course i am." He rolls his eyes in the dark. I kiss him lightly. He pulls me towards him and my hand goes under his shirt. My hand travel up and down his back. His hands press against my back, carefully not to hurt me. I smile against his lips. He is so sensitive. You would never expect him to be. I pull at his shirt and in one swift motion its gone. He is so warm. When he kisses me again the door suddenly opens and Mar comes in. "Breakf... ah!" We both quickly pull away and blush. "Four! What are you doing? Tris needs to heal!" I roll my eyes and Tobias gets down from my bed. "What is it Mar?" I ask. "I brought you breakfast but aparently you are distracted with other things right now..." i roll my eyes while Tobias quickly puts on his shirt. I can't oversee the look Mar gave his body. He sits on my bed again while Mar gives me the tray. "Thank you so much Mar." I smile and she does as well. Then she slowly walks backwards out of the door. "I will just close this door again and you can do with that food whatever you want..." i throw a sugar cube at her but she quickly shuts the door. I hear her laughing and laugh as well.
Tobias opens the curtains and the light of a cloudy day floads the room. I sigh. "I hate cloudy days." Tobias sits next to me again and kisses me shortly. "I know a method to make you love them." I laugh and kiss him again.

When we come down the stairs with the empty tray only Mar sits on the couch. "Where are the others?" I ask. She shrugs. "Somewhere." I sit down next to her while Tobias puts away the tray. I slowly nudge her shoulder. "You okay?" I ask. She seems a bit sad. She nods. "I guess i am." I frown. "What is wrong? Where is happy, sunshine, slightly behaving like a drugged person marlene?" She cracks a smile. "I don't know, i just feel angry at everyone. I don't even know why..." i smirk. "I have the cure for that..." i say and pull her to her feet. She looks at me confused. I hop over to the radio and turn it on. Pumped up kicks from foster and the people starts. I laugh and starts hopping around like a maniac. I never really danced before but in that moment i didn't care. I was dancing to cheer up my friend. And sure enough it worked. She started hopping with me and we screamed the chorus together. We used empty bottles of water as microphones and jumped on tables and the couches. We danced together with the music blasting in our ears. I loved it. We kept laughing the whole time. After four of five songs - i lost track - we slump onto the couches again. I am really hot and fan some air in my face. I don't know who started laughing but we just sat on the couches with bright red faces and laughed so our faces got even more red. It was one of the best moments in my life. I hugged mar although i was hot and she was hot and we both were sweating.
The music still played but we turned it down a bit and started talking.
After about ten more minutes the door bell rang. I got up and open the door. I nearly pass out when i see who stands infront of me. I stumble a few steps backwards and just stare. This can't be... "Hello Bea." My mother says and enters. And then she hugs me. I think she hasn't hugged me for at least four years. My dad steps into the house behind her. I shake my head disbelieving. "W-what are you doing here?" I ask still shocked. They both smile. "We will explain everything later." My dad just says. I just nod. Somehow i immediatly listen to what he says when i see him again. I show them where to put their shoes and jackets. "Where are your friends? Caleb told us you live here with four - five friends?" I nod. "Actually i live here with six friends." My father wants to say something but closes his mouth again. I guide them into the livingroom and look around. Its not clean but it could be worse. Mar looks up from the book she started reading. When she sees my parents she frowns and stands up. "Mar, these are my parents, andrew and nathalie." Mar smiles and shakes both of their hands. "Nice to meet you. I am Marlene, but you can call me Mar." "Hello." My parents both say. Just then Tobias enters the room. He looks confused. "Ehm hey?" He says awkwardly and looks at me and mar questioning. I clear my throat. "Four, these are my parents. Mom, dad this is four my..." i stop when i feel the looks of my parents eyes on my back head. "my friend." I finish. A hurt expression floads Tobias face for a few seconds and my insides cringe - i didn't want to hurt him. My dad releases a breath and shakes fours hand. My mother does the same. "Nice to meet you Four." My dad adds. I just nod. "Ok i will show you my room." I let my parents take the lead and quickly squeeze Tobias hand before i follow them upstairs. I guide them towards my room and explain our system of the rooms to them. They say nothing at all and just listen. I open my door and look into my room. My bed still is unmade and there are a few pieces of clothing on the floor. I quickly pick these up and throw them on a chair. My parents smile. I sit down on my bed while my mum sits in my armchair and my dad on my bed. "So..." mum says and smiles. "So... what are you doing here? I don't mean to be rude, i am just surprised." My dad nods. "I guess i can understand that. Let me explain our intention. Caleb told us a bit about your 'new life' here in Dauntless. He said that you changed - for the better - and that you seem happy." I smile. "I am happy." Mum smiles and continues: "And we just thought we would habe to apoplogise to you. We weren't good parents and it ended with you running away but we don't want that. We want to call you and have updates about your life. We also know that we made mistakes but these mistakes all have reasons." Wow, i don't remember the last time mum spoke that much... "What reasons?" I ask and sit a bit straighter so my stomach doesn't hurt. My parents take eachothers hands and squeeze them, then my dad speeks: "The reason i always was so strict is - is that you had a sister." Mum sniffs and tears roll down her face. I frown. "I don't remember having one..." Dad nods. "Yes we never told you. She died when you were about one year. You can't remember. She was the oldest of you. She already was four. She was a happy and cheerfull kid, she loved you and caleb and swore to protect you." Mum starts crying harder and even dad roll a few tears out of his eyes. "And she held that promise. One day you and Caleb were playing on the street infront of our house and this car came. You were to small to realise and both of us were distracted. She ran onto the street and carried both of you away but she was too small and tripped. She fell and you two were thrown forward - away from the car but she... The car ran her over. She died before the ambulance arrived." I am shocked and i feel the tears burning behind my eyes. "What was her name?" I ask while i fight the tears. "Josephine." Mum says between sobs and then i can't hold my tears back anymore. I cry because she is the reason i am alive. I cry because i could have had a bigger sister. I cry because i am angry at my parents that they kept this from me. I cry because i want Tobias to hold me right now. I cry because mum and dad cry.
After a bit of time it knocks. My face still is full of tears but i still croak: "Come in." The door opens and tobias steps in. When he sees me his face immeditaly turns from a blank expression to a worried one. I don't care about my parents anymore and just wail and wrap my arms around him tightly. He pulls me towards him and holds me tight. I cry into his shirt and he just strokes my hair. He doesn't ask what happend. He doesn't want answers and i am glad for that. He just holds me. After a while i have calmed a bit and pull away from his embrace. "Thank you." I mumble. My voice still shaking. My parents have calmed till now as well. I keep close next to tobias and ask: "Why did you never tell me? Why did you never tell me that i had a sister?" My mum sighs. "That is my fault." I look at her questioning. "Your father wanted to tell you but i was so devasted. I lost my child. My little fragile daughter. After that i couldn't emotinal bind towards Caleb and you. That is why i always seemed so apathic. After you ran away i finally realised what i did. I lost my first child and then my other two. I went to a psycotherapist and he helped me a lot. I am so sorry Bea. I really am. All the pain you had in the past. The pain of never having a real mother - that is all my fault. I wasn't there for you." She breaks down into sobs and my father wraps an arm around her. I stand up and hug her. She cries into my shirt and i cry into hers. We just cry. I am glad and angry. Glad they told me. Angry they didn't tell me before. But i understand it. Well actually i don't. I don't know what it feels like to loose a child - i mean i never had one. I pull away from the embrace and whisper: "I understand." I can't say that i forgive her. I will need more time for that but i do understand it. I stand up and pull mum to her feet as well. "Lets go and eat something. And another thing. Four over here isn't just any friend. He is my boyfriend." I intervine my hand with his and he smiles down at me. My mum smiles and my dad looks at Tobias scepticly. "Could you just leave us alone for a second?" I ask my parents. They both nod and walk out. As soon as the door is closed i sink on my bed and burry my head in my hands. I feel the bed shifting when Tobias sits next to me. I feel his arm around my shoulder. He doesn't say anything. Again i am glad for that. I will explain it tonight or tomorrow. Some day, just not today. I feel him moving my hair from my ear and leans down so his lips nearly brush my ear. "I have a theory." He whispers. I slowly lift my head. "What?" I ask with a weak voice. "I might be in love with you. I am waiting to tell you untill i am sure though." I can't supress a small smile. Normally it would be a huge grin. "That is sensitive of you. Should i get you a paper so you can make a list or a chart?" He grins. "Maybe i am already sure and just don't want to frighten you." I look into his stormy blue eyes. "Then you should know better." He smiles an adorable half smile. "Fine then. I love you." I smile widely. I would say it back but i can't, something holds me back, so i just press my lips on his. He kisses me back and i smile against his lips. He loves me! He loves me. He loves me... And i had a sister. A sister who saved my life and sacrificed hers. Suddenly i am crying again. He feels the tears and pulls away. "You know if a boy tells you he loves you, normally you shouldn't cry..." i lightly punch his arm but can't supress a smile. "Sorry. Its just my sister..." he stops me. "Its fine. You just found out today. I don't need to know yet." "Thank you." I whisper and he lays his arm around me. "Hey, i am the expert about family drama..." my heart clenches and again i imagine a younger tobias hiding from his father. I lay my head on his shoulder and kiss his cheek. "Lets go downstairs. My parents are waiting."