Away!

Chapter 50

"You can come in." I shout. I roll over in my bed and slowly sit up. Mar and chris open the door and step in my room. "Morning guys." I yawn and rub my eyes. "Morning? You mean afternoon? Its already 2 pm." Chris laughs. I shrug. "Whatever. I don't see a sense in getting up." Mar and chris exchange glances. "That is what we wanted to talk about with you." Mar starts. "Yeah. It now have been three days since you talked to tobias and both of you are feeling miserable. He doesn't get up. You don't get up. You both are just mopping around. And we all miss you tris. It feels empty without you around." Chris finishes. I feel tears behind my eyes and i wonder how that is even possible. I cried so much in the last days that i am really wondering how much tears a single person has. "Okay." I answer. Mar frowns. "Okay what? Tris you can't stay here and sink into a depression. Come on get up!" I shake my head and roll over. "That was not a question!" Mar says and then she pulls me out of my bed. "Mar let go of me." I whine. "No!" She says. She holds my arm while chris tosses clothing at me. "Put this on." When i don't move mar groans. "Tris! For gods sake!" When she makes an atempt to pull my shirt over my head i jump back. "Okay okay. Mar relax. Good god. Just go outside. I swear i'll just get dressed." They both nod and leave the room. I roll my eyes and put on the clothes. I step out of my room and walk straight downstairs. Mar and chris follow me. I walk past the kitchen and get myself an apple. Mar and chris already stand at the door. "See tris. Wasn't that hard." I roll my eyes because they don't know anything. I feel like screaming and crying and trashing around and ripping my heart out of my body just so the pain within it stops. I miss tobias. With every muscle, every vein of my body i miss him. I still try to make a straight face and follow chris and mar to the car.

Chris stops infront of Als house. "What are we doing here? You said we would go out and eat something." I say and shrink in my seat. Mar and chris exchange glances again. "Well we are going to eat something here." Chris explains and opens her door. "Is four in there?" Calling him four is easier for me. With the name four i don't attach so many powerful memories. Four is just a crush i once  had. Tobias is - he is... I don't finish the thought and just get out of the car. I bet i look awful. I am sure that i have dark circles under my eyes and that i must not look that healthy. I shrug it off and follow Mar and chris inside.
Inside zeke and uri greet me with two bear hugs. I manage a real laugh. "We missed you tris." Uri says and twirls me around. I lean my head against his shoulder. "I missed you too." Zeke ruffles my hair. "Come on." They lead me into the living room. When i enter i stumble backwards against uris chest. Tobias who is sitting on the couch looks just as shocked. "What-what is happening here?" I ask and feel the pain exploding in my chest once again. "You guys need to talk. You both are sick because you don't have eachother. Just talk." Shauna says softly and squeezes tobias shoulder before she leaves with the others. I stand helpless in the living room. "Tris..." tobias voice sounds weak. I look up and again pain hits me. He looks small. His normally broad shoulders are hunched over and he looks so incredibly small. I must look the same. "I miss you." I get out before the tears start falling down my face and i have to stiffle a sob with a hand over my mouth. Slowly tobias stands up and walks towards me. I let it be. I miss him so much that i nearly can't breath. And then his strong arm wrap around my small body and i sink against him. He holds me tight and i hold him tight with all the strenght that i can muster. "I miss you too tris. You can't imagine how much." I nod. "Yes i can." He holds me even closer. His chest still feels the same. His scent is still the same. He still is my tobias. I start crying again and he leads me over to the couch. He sits me down and then sits next to me. Immeditaly i wrap my arms around him again. Too long i wasn't able to do this. He holds me just as tight. "Tris i am sorry. I did everything wrong and i feel miserable because of that. I am so so sorry." I feel his tears on my head and then i can't take it anymore. "I know tobias. I know. And I still love you. I still love you so much. I never stoped." He lets out a big sigh and then his lips are on mine. And then all the pain vanishes. Its just gone. Just like that. He took it away. "I love you too Tris. So so much." His lips find mine again and i cling onto him. "I love you." "I love you." We keep kissing for a long time. "Tobias i was so lonly. I missed you so much. I thought i would never be able to kiss you again. I was scared." "I was even more scared tris. Believe me. I thought i ruined us. I thought i destroyed the only thing i am living for." Before he can go on i stop him. "Don't say that. That is not true." He takes my face in his hands. "It is true. You are the reason i get out of bed in the morning and you are the reason i never feel lonly." I hug him tighter and burry my head in his chest. "I love you Tobias." He strokes my hair and i let myself get calmed by the soft movement of his chest rising and falling and his strong hand that caresses my hair.
We stay like that for a long time. His hand caresses my hair. I straddle him and press my face against his chest. After a while the door hesitantly opens. "Guys? Did you kill eachother?" Lynns voice asks. Tobias laughs a bit. "No. The opposite." "Oh finally. I couldn't stand you two mopping around the whole time." I laugh as well. "Well that is over now." I whisper and slowly kiss Tobias. "Ok then. This is awkward so i'll go now and tell them, i quote: 'that the fourtris ship is sailing again'." The door shuts and i start laughing loud against tobias lips. He joins in and so we kiss and laugh and slowly, slowly even the deepest pain starts to vanish.