Avenir // tyler joseph

nineteen // it's colder than you know

--Courtney's P.O.V--

"Okay, guys, it's currently six o clock right now and we need to be back at the hospital by ten! That leaves you guys four hours to do whatever you wish. However, remember that you will be checked before we leave to make sure that you do not have anything harmful!"

As Mr. Baker finished his speech, I turned to Tyler, who was dressed in his skeleton hoodie. "We have four hours to kill. What do you want to do?"

Tyler grinned. "I heard that there's this really cool record store down the street from here. Wanna go check it out?"

I nodded in agreement, stuffing my hands in my jacket pockets, trying to keep them from freezing. Mr. Baker smiled at us as we passed him and it felt weird to not be under close supervision, especially when I had to have an adult accompany me every time I used the bathroom. I was surprised I was even allowed on this trip because you had to be deemed stable enough to tag along and I was most definitely not stable.

"It's weird to not have Billie with us," I remarked, quietly. "It's even weird not to have Pete."

Tyler shrugged. "At least Pete is finally out of the hospital and back in Chicago. He missed home. And Billie didn't need to come with us. It would probably make his withdrawals even worse."

I had to admit, Tyler did have a good point.

We soon arrived at the record store and Tyler's mood automatically perked up as he grabbed my hand, dragging me inside. The store was quite small, but it seemed to have all the music Tyler was into. A small keyboard and a drum kit was even on display.

I wandered over to the keyboard, running my hand over the keys as Tyler searched for a vinyl he desperately wanted. Learning to play the piano was always something that interested me. Tyler offered to teach me how to play, but I declined, not wanting to burden him with the task. Besides, the piano at the hospital wasn't in the best condition anyway.

Mr. Baker was intrigued that I was willing to do something other than sit in my room all day, waiting for Tyler to convince me to come out. Also, he probably liked the idea just because he liked the thought of Tyler and I together, same as Billie and Pete.

I thought of Tyler and I actually having the label of boyfriend and girlfriend was strange, really strange. He knew my feelings towards him and I knew his feelings towards me, but he was the one that didn't want to be in a relationship. He was afraid that my condition would get worse and he also didn't think I was ready. However, he refused to even give the idea of us a test run to see if it would work. How would you know unless you try it?

Sometimes though, I think he wants to try, but then changes his mind.

"You can get that if you want," Tyler mumbled from behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist.

"I don't have any money, Tyler," I responded, my hands still skimming over the keys.

"I'll get it for you. I have some money that my mom gave me when she enrolled me."

I turned around to face him. "No, don't do that. Don't spend your money on me."

" You deserve it, Courtney," he replied, simply. "You're the most important person in my life and I want to do something special for you."

I could only muster one question. "Why me?"

"Because I love you."

When I woke up, I was in Pierre and I's bed in the cabin, except he wasn't next to me. However, I was surprised that deep down inside I wished that I was back in the hospital with Tyler. The times back then were much simpler than what they were now. I knew exactly what I felt and I knew that Tyler felt the same. Nobody was there to keep us away from another, except my own head.