The Omega [English]

55. Axelle

55. Axelle

Logan knew of course that something was bothering me. I couldn't hide anything from him. Not even a delicate subject like this. I had been surprised when his mother said those things to me. Mostly the way she said it. She was almost accusing me that I didn't want to give Logan children. That he deserved them and that I needed to think of the pack, instead of myself.

It was the only thing I could think about. If she already thought about it like that, what would Logan think? And the pack members? Did they think that I lasted to long till there was a child? Logan and I were a big exception. Normally, when you met your mate, you completed the mating process already in a few days. Logan and I knew each other already a few months. Our relationship was really good, but I didn't think I was ready for that.

But I couldn't think of myself. The pack was the most important and it was my duty as Luna to give the pack an heir. I had tried a couple of times. Kissing and cuddling weren't a problem. Logan had given me a lot of time to get used to that. Was I comfortable with sleeping with him? I was already shaking when I thought about it. Not that I didn't trust Logan, on the contrary.

Why couldn't I just try it? The talk with his mother wasn't the only reason. Since I met Logan and he had given me the mark, I had already been one time in heat. It surprised me that it wasn't more than once. Maybe because I was still recovering from everything that I had been through? My parents weren't recovered, the pack hadn't still fully accepted me as their Luna and before that, there was the situation with Luca. I needed more time to process it. And the heat could be there any moment.

What I still remembered from my previous heat was that Logan's touches reduced the pain. According to some books that I have read, the heat was an extra step to make sure that two wolves completed their mating process. I would rather complete it on a spontaneous moment than in heat. I didn't want to feel forced and I wanted to do it because I wanted to and not to reduce the pain.

My face was against Logan's chest and his hands were caressing my back, to calm me down. You don't need to do the things, others expect you to do. You just need to do what you think is the best. " But what did I think? That was the question. Did I want to wait and maybe go into heat or did I want to do it before the heat? Was I ready to do it before the heat?

" I don't know " I admitted. " It's just .... I don't want to feel forced, but on the other hand ... what if I go into heat? " Logan pushed me more against his chest. He clearly hadn't thought about the heat. " Yes, that's a problem " he said softly.

It was the last thing we said about this subject. Logan carried me to our house. We said our goodbyes and I went upstairs. I sat down on my bed and was thinking about this whole situation, when someone stepped inside. Oliver. He waited in the door opening. " I heard that you and Logan have some problems. "

I approached me slowly and sat down next to me on the bed. " I didn't know that Logan and you talked about everything? " Oliver shrugged. " We're best friends. And he needed someone to talk to " I wished I had someone I could talk with. I still hand't made a friends. It was always Logan and I. I would make work of it. As soon as we had a solution for this problem.

" To be honest, I don't see the problem. You two know each other already some months. You two love each other, so why not? Most werewolves don't know each other when they are sleeping together " He was right.

" Why don't you want to do it, Axelle? What's the problem? " He turned his head towards me. Was he really serious? Did he want me to talk about this with me? It seemed like he could guess my thoughts. " No you don't need to talk about this with me, but I think you need someone to talk to. I just want to help you and Logan and if that's with listening to you, than I'm going to do that "

He started talking again, when he realised that I wasn't going to say anything. " Logan told me that you two already did a little bit more than just kissing. Why did you always pull away? " I didn't know the answer. It didn't feel bad. I always felt happy and loved with Logan. " Just tell me what you feel "

I waited for a few moments. The question repeated itself in my thoughts and I tried to find the answer. " I feel happy with Logan. He is the first one to give me a chance and he is always supporting me. He tries to the everything to make me happy " It was at that moment that I realised something. " I just have the feeling that I don't deserve his love. That he's too good for me. He takes me for who I am and he gives me some space, while he could have every girl he wants, without doing some effort."

" Why don't you deserve him? " I felt some tears in my eyes, when Oliver asked me to go deeper about this subject. I started crying when I said: " I'm nothing. I'm not of a high rang, I'm not educated to become a Luna and I can't protect myself. " I wiped away some tears. " I don't have a perfect body. I ... I have a lot of scares from the past. I'm just not perfect and Logan deserves a perfect girl. "

Oliver took some tissues from my nightstand. He gave them to me and waited till I had calm down. He said: " You know, you're lying to yourself, right? " He sounded a little bit irritated. " Oke, you don't have a high rang and you're not educated to become a Luna, but the fair showed that you can handle the position as Luna. Secondly, do you really think that Logan wouldn't protect you when you were the strongest women on this planet? Even then, Logan wouldn't protect you. Even then, he would be worried about you " I started crying again, because I knew he was right.

" And the inside is the most important thing for Logan. You're a sweet and strong girl, Axelle. Much stronger than you think " He gave me a new tissue. " Logan doesn't want a perfect girl, Axelle. He just wants you. He had never looked at other women. He was always waiting for his mate. Since he met you, you're his world. He wouldn't think of you like that, if he didn't love you. You can think that you're not perfect, but in Logan's eyes you are. You're his perfect Axelle. "

He grabbed my face and looked into my eyes. " Think of what I have said Axelle. Logan loves you. You don't have a single excuses to say otherwise. You are just lying to yourself. As soon as you accept that we are right and you two talk about this, than I don't think there will be a problem " He let go of my face and stood up from the bed. " Take some time for yourself Axelle. Think about it and everything will going to be fine " He said, before leaving the room.

I couldn't believe that I had this conversation with him. Oliver hadn't been a fan of mine in the beginning, so the fact that he talked to me about the future was strange, but I was grateful for it. So listened to his advice and thought about my future and what I really wanted.

A/N: Let me know what you think of the chapter :) I don't know when the next will be, but probably the end of this week :)

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