Suicide Club

Chapter Ten

THE SILENT GIRL

Wednesday

alex's funeral is tonight. and all of us are going to meet at caleb's and drive over together.

after school, i grab a ride home with caleb. i have been living with him since it happened. once my parents left the house, we went over and grabbed the rest of my things. once back to caleb's house, i change into a simple black dress with black heels. soon caleb emerges with a white short sleeve button down and black slacks and a black bow tie.

everyone arrives and we drive to the church in silence. the service starts and caleb and tyler helped alex's parents carry the casket to the front of the church. tears roll down tyler's face as he does this. i can feel the emptiness without him.

after a blessing and mass, tyler gets up to speak after the parents.

"i met alex through a friend. actually, that friend is here. the minute i laid eyes on him, i knew that alex was special. he had a heart of gold and a smile that could light up a room. he was always so caring and happy." at this point tyler starts to cry. "it is with my deepest depths of my heart i am here to say that, alex and i were in love. although it may come to you as a shock, alex and i were deeply in love."

alex's father stands up. "i think that is enough son." he says.

"no. this needs to be said" tyler continues.

"alex and i were inseparable. on the drive home when it happened, alex threw himself in front of me." tyler begins to cry harder. "this boy was filled with the courage of one thousand of any regular boy. and leave you today with what i said to alex when we first met: although i have known you for only thirteen hours, i have felt enough love to last a lifetime. i love you." with that the service ends and we leave.

caleb's parents were never really home and sent us a weekly budget for food and other necessities. most of the time it was just caleb and i.

we slept in his room and he held me tight. i felt his wet tears in my hair. and when he began to cry something changed. the way he held me became emotionless and cold. like he wasn't even there. it hurt see him like this.

the same night, caleb left my side and went to the bathroom. i waited up for him and he spent almost an hour in there. i got worried and tried to go open the door. upon reaching it, i heard soft sobs from inside. i lift my hand and put it on the cold wood door and slowly push forward. after about an inch of movement, the door is pushed against my hand and i pushed harder to keep it open.

"alexandria don't come in" he choked out.

in the inch of openness, i see blood on the floor. he uses his weight against the door to shut it and begins to cry. i put my back against the door and slide down to the floor.

"alexandria, i love you. go back to bed baby." caleb says softly.

"i love you." i say, my voice cracking as tears start to fall.

"bye" he says almost in a whisper.

i saunter back to bed and lay down and let the tears fall harder. soon enough, i am asleep.

THURSDAY

i awoke without caleb next to me. an unfamiliar feeling. i get up and saunter to the bathroom. when i pull the door open, caleb's body falls to the ground.

i shriek, kneel down, and pick his head up. his lips are practically blue and his face is colorless. this once beautiful boy is now pale and sickly. i look in front of him and his legs rest in a dry pool of blood . the blood is on his shirt, pants, and floor. i lift the sticky sleeve if the shirt to expose a deep gash along his wrist. i immediately realize what happened and call an ambulance.

while i wait for it to arrive, i hold his head in my lap and weep over it.

the ambulance arrives and they take him away to the hospital, i follow in caleb's car. at the hospital, they rush him to a room and i sit in the waiting room. for a time that feels like eternity, i wait for news on caleb. at the thought of that the one boy i love could be taken from me eats at me from the inside.

around 10 am, a doctor emerges and beckons for me. i saunter to him.

"i am displeased to announce that caleb alexander smith has been declared deceased as of 9:02 am."

i immediately break down and cry on the floor in the hospital waiting room.

One day.