Suicide Club

Chapter Eight

THE ARTIST

Wednesday

a while back, calum confessed his love for me. why he could love a fat; ugly; beast like me, i do not know. i hated to break his little heart, but i do not love him. he is a great boy. i just do not deserve him. and i do not want him to get attached to me and try to mess up the Suicide Club's plans. i honestly think that the choice i made was the best one. without him and i together i can focus on other things. like my suicide letter. we were all told to write one. i feel i do not deserve one, but i will write one anyway.

yesterday alex and tyler got into a car crash. alex threw himself in front of tyler, to protect him. tyler had a broken arm and a couple lacerations, while alex had a broken leg and was in a coma. i do not know if he will make it through. tyler hasn't left his side since it happened. i plan on visiting him with caleb today.

after last period, caleb and i drive over to the hospital and go to his room. we see him lying in a bed with many wires protruding from him. he looks pale and frail; a look i have never seen from alex. tyler is hunched over crying while holding his pale hand. i saunter to tyler and pull him up into a hug.

"if anything, it should have been me." tyler whispers to me.

"don't you fucking say that, what happened, happened. and it cannot change. now alex is strong, he is a fighter. if anyone could get better; it's him." i reassure him.

i pull away from tyler and caleb comes and hugs him. i walk over to alex and look at him. i begin to cry, seeing his still body lying there. i grab his hand, only to be shocked by how cold it is. i lean down and kiss his forehead. caleb follows in suit.

caleb, tyler, and i sat down to talk.

"i had to tell his parents that we were only friends, it hurt." tyler says.

"i bet" says caleb.

i nodded in agreement.

"he's so beautiful." tyler says while looking at him. he stands up and walks over to alex. tyler places his hand upon alex's. suddenly, a loud beeping noise fills the room. i panic and tyler looks distraught. a nurse and doctor barge in and tell us to leave. tyler begins to scream and cry. caleb and i pull him to the waiting room.

once in the waiting room, tyler stands; sobbing into caleb's shoulder. they get many inquisitive and judgmental looks. after about an hour, a group of doctors come over and say:

"who is the closest with him?" a man whose name tag reads Dr. Naro.

we all look at each other.

"i am." tyler states.

the doctor gestures for him to follow. they step away, and the doctor tells tyler something and he immediately starts to cry. tyler slowly turns away and walks back to caleb and i. we both assume that alex is dead.

"alex, h-h-he-es gone." tyler chokes out.

caleb starts to cry and so do i. soon we are all in a group hug, crying.

as caleb and i drive home, i say:

"maybe we should call everyone?"

"alright" he says and pulls out his phone. soon alexandria's voice illuminates the car. caleb breaks the news and calls everyone else.

two days