Letters of Amanda

Dear Sister

Dear sister,

I used to envy you. You were the beautiful, smart girl that everyone wanted to be friends with. Girls wanted to be you and boys wanted to be with you. I used to think i was the luckiest girl because i had a sister as cool as you that loved me. But you didn't love me. But i loved you so much. I looked up to you and i wanted to be you so badly. I remember when we went to Disney World as a family vacation. I was 8 and you were 16. I remember we were in the airport and one employee commented that she didn't see the resemblance because you were so tiny and small and i was fat. I remember you agreeing with her and laughing about it. I remember you calling me fat every time i went to he fridge. I remember the words you said to me when i would bump into you. "Why are you so fat?!" I remember those words so clearly. I remember running to my room, slamming the door shut and crying until there was nothing left. I remember you apologizing because Daddy yelled at you. When you used to pretend to be the best sister ever in front of your friends but then when they leave, you would make me feel more worhtless and disgusting as the dog poop on the bottom of your shoe. I would starve myself because of you. I would starve myself so i could get skinny like you. I would skip dinner, skip lunch, skip breakfast so i could be beautiful like you. I'm always happy when someone notice that i lost weight. You never loved me or accepted me when i was fat. You only started to go places with me in public when i lost a whole bunch of weight. I remember i would lie for you and keep secrets for you and you never appreciated it. I spend so much time on your presents whether they're Christmas or Birthday presents. You don't even remember my birthday, I'm sorry i ruined your life when i was born. I was in the room when you told mom you hated me because i ruined the family. I promised from that day on that i would do whatever it took to make you happy. Today is the day that you get your wish. I will no longer be a burden. You no longer will have to share a bathroom, share a room or share anything with me because i won't need any of those things anymore. No matter how much you hated me, i loved you 3 times more because we were family. You get your happy ending and i get my end. I love you so much and i wouldn't blame you if you didn't want to remember me. 

Forever with love,

Amanda