Letters of Amanda

Dear Daddy

Dear Daddy,

I love you so much Daddy. You were the only one that took care of me. When i turned 5, you taught me how to ride a bike. I remember you telling me that you'll be right by my side to catch me it i fell. You pushed me off and i almost lost my balance. I didnt't fall though. I was riding my bicycle on my own! I remember thinking how proud you must have been of me. You told me learning to ride a bike is the first taste in freedom and his first step of letting me go. I remember going to the family picnic when i was 7. It was a beautiful spring day and we went as a family i was never even supposed to be a part of. That day i wasn't the youngest, the smallest nor the unwanted. We were working and living as one. When i was 7 i thought we were the perfect family but then you and mom started fighting. Instead of finding a healthy way to deal with your anger you drank. Instead of going to sleep afterwards, you hit me. Daddy why? You took your anger out on me and i let you because you were the one that cared for me when mom couldnt look or touch me. I remember trying to silence my sobs as your fist came in contact with my abdomen over and over again. I remember searching up make up tutorials to hide the bruises you gave me. You called me worthless, you called me unwanted. You told me things i already knew.But its not your fault Daddy, you tried. By the time you read this, i would have given myself a beating, except i won't be getting up from this one. I'm sorry. I can't stand it anymore. I know you and mom are having issues with money. Its okay now, once I'm out of the picture, its one less mouth to feed and one less body to clothe. I'm sorry for ruining the perfect family you thought you would have. I love you Daddy.

Always with love,

Amanda