Live me in you again!!

The Pain

'And the Rajiv Khel Ratna award goes to Mr. Virat Kohli', the announcer announced.

Virat got up and moved with a poise that had made itself a part of his personality. He accepted the award and while walking back, everyone was made witness to the tears which flowed uncontrollably from his eyes.

'Sir, this side please', his driver escorted him to the car.

Virat sat in the car watching all the people outside who were waiting for him to just wave a goodbye.

'They're your fans. How would they know you're angry? C'mon wave back to them', Aarushi's voice reiterated in his head. He did it half heartedly.

Virat watched them all. Little kids calling out his name. Girls shouting that they loved him. They had made a world out of him whereas he had lost his world. He saw that they were all happy. He, however, had been deceived by destiny.

The car came to a halt after a good 20 minute ride. Virat got down and went straight to his room.

'See, I am the best, baby. But how come, without you?', he cried out.

'Virat', his brother shouted from outside begging him to open the door. It had been eight months since Aarushi had died and Virat's family had understood one thing- Virat was not to be left alone. He was not ready. They didn't know if he would ever be.

Virat wiped his tears and opened the door.
'Virat', Vikas said coming towards him.

'Yes', he said turning his face away from him.

'How was the ceremony?', he asked putting his hand on his shoulder.

'Huh? Oh, it was...good', he said choosing his words.

'Have you had something?', he asked him.

'Vikas', he said now facing him.

'Yes', he said.

'I cannot live without her. It's a torture. I have tried. It's not like I haven't but I can't do it. She's everywhere. She surrounds my entire being', he said tears rolling down his cheeks.

'No, come here', Vikas enfolded him in a hug.

'Why would she do this to me? Did I not love her enough? Is there a better place she's gone where she's found more love than here?', he asked sobbing.

'No, no...see Virat we have been through this. You have a responsibility of this nation on you. How can you forget that so easily?', he asked him.

'Yes, yes I play for those joyful faces. They sit with their families and enjoy watching us. What about me? Whom do I come back home to? Where's my pretty face gone? Can any of this bring her back?', he questioned him back.

Vikas was left speechless. He had thought that things would become easy. It hadn't happened and wasn't likely to happen. His brother's face ensured him that.

'Virat, come and have lunch', his mother interrupted.

'Yes mom we are coming', Vikas responded.

'Uncle, show me the award please', Aarav joined in.

Vikas cautioned him to move out of the room.
'Come let's eat', he told Virat.

'No, I am okay', he said.

'Virat, it's not gonna bring her back, you being miserable', he explained it to him.

'Yeah, but she'll know what she took away with her. I'll destroy myself', he said.

'Shut up, Virat. What about us? We are nobody for you?', he asked him.

'Vikas you know I don't mean that. It's just...'

'I know but my kid think about mom. Come let's eat or she won't eat as well', Vikas explained it to him.

Virat got up and followed him.

'Virat, look I have cooked everything that is your favourite. You have done us all so proud', his mother said pouring food on his plate.

He threw a glance towards Vikas who just nodded.
'Mom, that would be it', he said.

'You don't tell me what will be it. You haven't eaten properly in days', she said.

'Mom, he'll have more if he wants. You sit down and relax', Vikas said to her.

She gave one of her sternest looks to Vikas and sat down without saying anything further. She watched him eat before serving herself.

Virat ate silently. Salty tears making their way even then. He tried really hard but they seemed uncontrollable today.

'I am done', he said after having half a chapatti.

'But...', his mother got up and protested.

'Let him go, mom', Vikas said.

'How long will this continue? He has to move on', his mother said.

'Mom, give it some time. It's not like he isn't trying', Vikas told her.

'Skipping meals and not looking after himself at all is 'trying'?', she asked him tears filling her eyes realising the pain his son was in.

'Mom', Vikas came by her side.

'I can't see him like this. It breaks my heart. Aarushi took my son also with her', she said finally.

'Mom, just drink some water..Aarav?', Vikas motioned him to pour some water.

He poured some and gave it to her.

'I don't know what he is doing with his life. I want him normal. I...I won't be able to live seeing him like this. It's been 5 days since he has returned home and not once he has eaten more than half a chapatti. He doesn't have breakfast or dinner. Only lunch, and that too namesake. Can't you see, he's dying everyday', she said.

'Mom, I know that but there's only so much that we can do. He loved her, in a way only he could have loved her and the same with her. How can you just accept one day that the person you love the most will never meet you ever again? Mom, you of all people, must get him', he made her understand.

'I get him, Vikas. I do get him. But I am a mother and my heart shatters into thousand pieces when I see him drinking more tears than water, eating his own life more than the food. How can I stay calm, you tell me?', she asked him.

'I know, mom. I want him normal too. It's like the life of this house is gone. I just hope it isn't forever', Vikas sighed.