Three Words

Chapter 20 - Tobias

It's almost as if I can feel my brain shutting down, feeling what little grip on my resolve that I had slip away.  I'm having trouble comprehending time, unsure what's going on around me other than what's directly in front of me.  Time goes blindingly fast in moments, but then agonizingly slow in others, especially when George is being shocked.  The only thing my brain seems capable of doing is taking in every excruciating detail of the way George's body goes rigid then flaccid.  Branding the image to the inside of my eyelids each time. 

I am only vaguely aware that Tris' face has become etched with concern as she yells, "Come on!" in frustration.  My heartrate seems to become erratic at her words.  It becomes difficult to breath, my lungs refusing to only take in short breathes.  That's not good.  How long has it been since she started doing this?

The AED starts saying something again...seconds?  Minutes?   I'm not sure how long it's been, but Tris is now rolling George to his side, relief on her face.  Amar is rubbing George's head, tears streaming down his face, "George?  George?  Stay with me.  Please.  I love you."  Tris has George's wrist in her hand, checking his pulse.  The only thing that is registering in my brain right now is that Tris just might have saved George's life. 

A paramedic emerges from the restaurant pulling a stretcher behind him, his partner pushing.  How long has it been since I called them?  Words are being exchanged between Tris, Amar and the paramedics, but I'm having a hard time understanding what they are saying, since my ears refuse to work probably, taking in only about every fifth word. 

Before I have time to figure out if George is going to be ok, he is being loaded into an ambulance at the front of the restaurant.  Tris is hugging a teary eyed Amar, saying something before he steps into the ambulance with George.

I feel her small hand go into mine; her voice far away as she says something in a soothing tone.   I'm still having difficulty hearing anything other than the sirens of the ambulance.  I can't look at her though, my eyes refuse to look away from the ambulance that is driving away.  She squeezes my hand firmly, her voice slightly louder, but it still has a soft, comforting edge that only she seems to have.  The raised voice finally pierce through the fog, catching my attention, "Tobias?  He's going to be ok.  They are taking him to a really good hospital with some of the best heart surgeons in the country." 

I peel my eyes away from the ambulance, looking down at her as she says this.  Her words stir something in me, a desire to know that she is ok after seeing George taken away.  I need to feel her breath.  I need to feel her heart beat.  I need to feel her warmth against me. 

I pull her into a tight hug, burying my face into the crook of her neck.  Her heartbeat is just noticeable through my shirt, my own erratic heartbeat trying to slowly match hers.  I feel her breathe on my skin, and feel my lungs finally take in a long breath, instead of the short, shallow ones I had been.  I feel the warmth of her small body against mine, even though mine still feels cold.  These facts are the only thing grounding me to the earth at the moment.  Keeping me from losing all control, knowing that she is with me here.  That she is ok.  My voice cracks as I say, "Thank you Tris." 

She's rubbing soothing circles on my back.  Trying to calm me down.  I'm not sure how long she does this, but what feels like only seconds later she says.  "Come on.  I'm going to drive ok?  We can go wait with Amar."  Her voice soothing. 

It's when she stops rubbing that I notice that her hands are shaking against my back, snapping me back to the present.  My heart rate picks back up, my concern for her spikes to an all-time high.  I pull back to look at her, taking her shaking hands into mine.  I won't be able to forgive myself if something is wrong with her.  "Tris are you ok?"