My Painless Addiction (#Wattys2017)

Chapter 6

The rest of the week droned on and by the time that weekend arrived, I was almost out. I needed to meet up with Jack and he was the one who usually supplied me with the heroin I needed to smoke.

I didn't know what I was going to tell Jack. I hadn't gone to him for a long ass time. And the asshole was sure to give me a tough time in getting a new supply. This shit is going to cost me a fucking fortune.

Jack was a Grade A fucking dickhead. But he got me my material and I was okay as long as he did that. And that was what was fun about the guy. He would chime in about my absence for some time and probably mock me for it but Jack knew that I didn't really bother about what he thought about me.

I got into my car and drove down to one of the alleys downtown. Once I had parked the car, I got out and began walking inside. The alley which I had reached had a small basement, which wasn't raided by the police by its strict secrecy.

I walked down the stairs to the basement where Jack kept the material protected. Jack had been the business long before I had even come to this place, which was about 5 years ago. And he had tremendous security systems installed with protection equipped. He had been raided several times but had never been caught once. His heroin supplying and growing grounds were just well guarded and safely maintained that the police could never prove their claims. 

Just as I opened the door to the small cabin, I noticed that there weren't any of Jack's friends. That was a good sign. Jack's friends weren't usually a great company. They consisted of men who tried to coax Jack into giving this up, but Jack was stubborn about it. Besides, Jack wanted money and this assured him a fund. How Jack had managed to get clean friends was another puzzle for another day.

Now that Palestina was gone and out of my life forever, I didn't intend on keeping my promise to her, that I wouldn't go back to drugs. She broke her promise of being there for me and I wasn't a sad boyfriend who still loved her from afar. I wasn't a part of that bullshit.

If she was backing out of a promise, then I had no intentions of honoring my end of the deal. A promise was more like a compromise between people. And when one fucker backs out, the whole impasse is called off. Abruptly.

And I wasn't a hero to still be stupid enough to honor my end of the situation and all that shit.

Hell no.

I placed my hand on the table, a bit too loudly, to let Jack know that I had arrived.

A few seconds later, Jack opened the door with a scowl on his face and his hands ripping off the gloves from his hands. It took him one look and he said, "Where's your bitch, left you eh?" 

I smirked and shook my head. If he had said that before, I would have picked a fight with him, but today, he was right.

"Yep. There was too much of fucking drama." I replied, as he wiped his hands on the rag left on the table.

"Its been a long time since you came here, Toni. I thought you had left the business for good. Couldn't stay away?" he mocked and I grimaced.

"Can I just get a pack? I don't have the patience to put up with your fuckery today." I stated, sitting down.

"You should have listened to me when I told you that she was good enough for just a fuck. But you had to go and get yourself in 'LOVE' with her." He retorted, making air quotes for the word love.

"Drugs, Jack. I've come to you to get drugs. You don't need to act like my fucking therapist or something. Do your job." I said, rubbing my eyes.

He chuckled and removed a package from the nearby stash he had for people.

"200." he told me and held out his hand. 

I raised my eyebrows and asked, "Weren't you selling it for about 150?" I took out the cash and placed it in his hand.

He rolled his eyes and said, "Things change asshole. Just like you did when your chick left you and you came running back." 

I smirked and said, "I'll be back if I need anything." With that, I walked out of the door. 

By the time I had reached the apartment, the landlady had gone out and it was just me.

In minutes, I had locked myself up, the fourth time this week and I was reveling in my thoughts as the drug coursed through my body.

Palestina had been an important part of my life when she had been in it. Everything had been fucking perfect to me. But maybe it hadn't been like that for her. Or maybe she didn't really deserve to have my passion and desire for her. I chose to think of the latter half of the argument.

I don't need her anymore. Or her memories.

I got up from my position on the floor and headed to my room. I hadn't bothered cleaning it and stumbled over the shit on the floor, having to catch hold of the wall or the damn bed. But I did manage to get out some things. I took out the pictures, the one of us by the bed, the ones on the wall, the shirt she had got for me, my birthday present from her.

Every single thing of hers that she had given me. Everything that reminded me of her. 

All the lies and broken promises and wishes.

But I couldn't remember how, they were meaningful to me. When I looked at the things I had gotten out, I couldn't recall any trace of the emotion of love that I had felt before. 

I didn't know whether it was the heroin that was making me see things in a different perspective or it was just simply the fact that I understood what was happening to me in the real world.

There was no emotion. Just an empty blank.

I gathered the things in an old cardboard box that I had found in my room and took it down to the small parking space that the landlady had for my car. But I didn't usually leave my car in there. There were rats and maggots and it was a murky and wet place. 

And according to me, my car was too hardcore to be in that spoilt place.

I placed the box down and headed over to my room. I knew I had a bottle of some cheap alcohol in my place. And I was right. I took out the bottle and headed down.

By the time, I left the parking space, everything had been charred to ashes.