My Painless Addiction (#Wattys2017)

Chapter 1

I slammed the door of the pub, pushing it open as I stalked out. I didn't want to be there any more. Not after what she did.

I didn't deserve that after all that I sacrificed. After all that I had been put through. I had to almost give up my true identity in the thought and false perception that she had created in my mind to supposedly make me a 'Better man'

She had seen me inside and she rushed out as I began to walk away from that dump of a pub when she caught up, panting slightly.

"Toni, I'm so sorry you had to see that! It wasn't what you think! I was just talki-" she started, and I turned around in fury, shocking her hand off my arm.

She seemed to be scarcely clothed at all. And I realized what a fool I had been to fall for her.

The sleeve of her dress was transparent, her collarbones, visible to anyone. But what set me off was the red mark on her neck. The place where the douchebag had been sucking on, when I saw her.

My body began to quiver as I saw my vision turn red. I clenched my fists to keep them from hitting her if I felt like it as I took a few steps away from her.

She had been thrown back by the sheer force of my arm and she had fallen down on the pavement, away from me as she waited for me to speak. But I refused to. She didn't deserve any of my time.

The bile rose in my throat as the scum of a human, the other guy, came running to pick her up.

She got up, holding his arm and I turned away. I couldn't bear to look at her. The guy checked for any sort of wounds on her as he asked her if she was okay.

Asshole. Even if I had been out of my senses, I wouldn't have dreamed of hurting her.

"Palestina, you okay?" he asked.

Yes. She was exactly like her name. One that brings ruin.

His hand brushed across her cheekbone and I flinched. I didn't deserve this. I didn't deserve to get myself tortured by watching another man, touch my woman like that.

I hated it that even after I had found her tongue in another man's throat, even though she had cheated, even though she wasn't worth it, it still fucking hurt me. And I hated myself for making myself feel that way for a worthless female like her.

I looked away and started walking when she ran to me again and caught my hand. "Toni just listen to me once, please!!" she said, blocking my path.

I closed my eyes and tried to dodge her but she was adamant that I listen.

I shook my head and took a step but that was exactly when that I lost it.

My hand fisted even more tight as the guy put his hand on my shoulder to stop me and he croaked out in his insanely fucking annoying voice, "She wants to talk to you."

My hand had swung around, almost by a force of its own sheer will and landed on the side of his jaw, making his head meet with the ground. I had gotten in enough times with the law that it taught me a few tricks to throw anyone off.

My vision had become tunneled as I picked the motherfucker by his collar and pounded his skull against the wall. Everything turned crimson as I grit my teeth when he helplessly struggled to free my hold on his neck.

I would have kicked him in the gut but he had managed to throw a punch on my cheekbone and I staggered back a second. He coughed to get the blood pooling in his mouth as Palestina ran to him and held his front.

The asshole was stupid enough to think he could take me on and pushed her away and came running at me. Just as he threw his fist in the air, I landed a blow on his ribs with my elbow and he crashed into the brick wall again.

I aimed my fist to break his nose as he ducked and my fist went into the wall, splitting my knuckles in the process. I hissed and came at him again, when she came into my way. Again.

"TONI STOP!!" she screamed and I held my hand in mid air when he cowered behind her.

Asshole couldn't protect himself at all. He knew it. He knew that he would be dead if I had fought with him just a bit more.

"Go away, Tina. Move." I breathed out and she walked to me. I held my place as she stood in front of me.

I still called her Tina.

She was crying now. Her boyfriend was hurt as he couldn't take a few hits.

Boo fucking hoo.

"Rodney, you okay, baby?" she called out and my head snapped to her attention. That was when it hit me. This was fucking true. She didn't love me anymore.

"I'm sorry, Toni." she said, her voice, clear and monotoned.

My breathing became heavy and rather labored as I choked out the words, "Sorry?"

I swallowed and asked again, "Sorry? SORRY? After ALL that happened, I get a FUCKING SORRY? Tina? That's IT?"

She was unfazed as I stood in front of her in my legendary rage and fury. She nodded and replied to my question, "I can't be with you anymore Toni. You're just too broken and messed up. I can't fix you."

On that, she turned on her heel and walked to her fucking boy toy who smirked at me with his bloody teeth as I stood there absorbing the information. The place had a small amount of crowd who assembled there from to pub to witness the fight.

I couldn't move and the words she had echoed through my ears.

TWO FUCKING YEARS AND I GET A SORRY.

I was rooted to the spot as the crowd gathered up even more and I drowned in misery as she walked away. Just then, the police began to pull up to look up for the crowd when I took off, running away.

From them, from HER, from everything that kept me sane.