My Painless Addiction (#Wattys2017)

Chapter 5

I was contemplating whether I should be taking this class. If I got inside the room, I was sure that I wasn't going to able to stop myself if I saw her. And as much as I hated this situation, I didn't want to not face it. This was inevitable and uninviting. But it was necessary.

I took a deep breath in and I walked into the classroom. Students were just filling in and I clenched my teeth as I saw Her. She was talking to her new fucking boyfriend and I clenched my teeth. This was exactly what I hadn't wanted. 

Almost on cue, she turned around to look at me and her face morphed into an expression of hurt. 

Hurt? She was hurt on seeing me?! I didn't do any shit to her. She was the one who shoved it in my face that she didn't love me anymore. That she didn't want to be with me anymore. And she chose someone else over me. She chose Rodney.

And it was like fate decided to test my patience for pointing out bullshit in my head today. Rodney turned and smirked at me, letting the first stirrings of anger take over. He glanced at Tina for a second and slipped a hand through hers.

I glared at him and I rolled my eyes as Ryan walked in. Students were beginning to notice the staring match between me and Rodney. Ryan nudged me by my shoulder and I began taking steps forward when I noticed that Rodney was in my place. 

Asshole got my girlfriend and now he wants my seat too. Looks like he couldn't be original.

Tina's eyes drilled into my posture as I kept my eyes on Rodney and walked to my seat. I didn't give a fuck about Tina looking hurt. All I could visualize behind my eyes, whenever I blinked was Rodney's skull being smashed into the desk in front as his new girlfriend watched on. I wanted to pound my fist into his nose and kick his gut until he couldn't move his body anymore.

And especially that goddamned mouth with which he lowered the entire IQ of the street by just talking would receive the special gift of me smashing his teeth in.

I turned away and sat down in another seat, a bit in the front, so that I wouldn't have to see them together. In the line of sight, that is.

Class begun within a few minutes and I knew what they both were wondering. Rodney would expect me to call him out on a fight. But Tina would be wondering why I hadn't returned the hurt look she gave me. 

But I had different plans. I wasn't going to give them the pleasure of their expectations bearing fruit. I was going to make sure that she got what she deserved from me.

Ignorance and Apathy.

I did learn something through my life of living alone and managing things myself without much support. People often loved to be loved. I did acknowledge that there were many persons in the world who didn't really take pleasure in the fact of them being liked, but the majority did. Speaking about the greater number of Homo sapiens around, they thrived on the love that they got from others. But at the same time, people loved to be noticed. And the love that they received from their significant other or the opponent made them happier and feel important. 

And hate, was not only a strong word but a strong emotion as well. Though people do not admit it and that it usually hurts, people thrived on hate too. Hate was just love gone bad. It had the same emotions that one experiences during love. This was more aimed at the negative aspects of the other than idolizing the individual.

Being by my own, I had grown up with apathy. Most people didn't care or think about what happened. And love was just the opposite. You just cared too much. And not caring would be the only sensible option and the antonymic suggestion to love.

The opposite of love was Apathy. Hate was just love gone bad.

And I didn't want any of my care to be wasted on something like that.

I didn't notice the minutes running as the lecturer droned on about the various novels of the semester and our tasks. It was only when Ryan nudged me and I realized that the bell had rung and people were starting to file out. 

I began walking out when Tina decided to block my way. 

She isn't your Tina, anymore, Toni. She isn't Tina.

"Palestina, would you be so kind as to remove yourself from my presence?" I asked, my eyes straight into her own. 

Her eyes were blue green, that were exactly like the sea splashing against the golden sandy locks of her hair. The very same face wouldn't have ceased to cause my heart beat yesterday.

But now, when I looked at her, all I could see was.....nothing.

I felt nothing.

"What do you mean, 'remove yourself from my presence'? Toni, you have to listen." she started, clearly taken aback by my statement.

"I mean that I want you to get the fuck out of my way. Or maybe I hadn't been too clear on the intent that I didn't want to see you anymore?" I replied, acting confused and her eyes filled up. If this had happened before, I would have been apologizing to her the next second.

But now, things had changed. I didn't need to. And I didn't want to.

"Please Toni, just once, listen to me, please-" she began again and I rolled my eyes and cut her off in the middle.

"Just move. I don't want to hear it." I said and sidestepped around her to walk away.

I couldn't believe the stupidity that I was being made to live through today.

Suddenly, I had a hand grabbing at my collar as Rodney brought his face near mine. 

"Watch your mouth, loser." 

I smirked and rolled my eyes. The cuts on Rodney's face were still raw and he was weak, considering how much he got beat up yesterday. As far as I knew, the hit which I had so decently delivered to the gut would have broken at least one of his ribs. And at least, one of his wrists would have a hairline fracture. I had made sure that he'd gotten hurt enough that he couldn't take me on again with his full strength for a few months at the least.

Even if he got to his maximum agility and strength quickly, it was going to be rare that he could take me down. 

He must have gotten taped up after I had taken off to a run from the place.

"Loser? You! You have the fucking nerve to call me a loser, after what I had done to you yesterday? Or do you seem to be suffering from the same thing YOUR girlfriend seems to be having? A weird type of couple amnesia, is it? I wouldn't mind reminding your sorry ass about yesterday." I said and caught hold of his collar to which his dropped.

"You are a fucking wimp, Rodney. And all the people in the room, know that right now. So I would suggest that you keep your mouth shut tight." I continued, as I looked at her and back at him. 

"But I guess, being a wimp was more than enough to get your girl." He retorted and I clenched my fist. 

I shouldn't care. She means nothing to me anymore.

"Stay the fuck away from me, Rodney." I spat, as I pushed him away when I let go of his shirt.

Ryan had been watching through the entire scene, glaring at her. 

He was on my side, now.

Just as I walked over to him, I remembered something and I turned around, "That goes to you too, Palestina."