Lovely Chaos ∣ book one

TEN : damn free-thinking

.:Damn Free-Thinking:.

I've been pacing for at least ten minutes straight. My uneasiness was starting to affect everyone. Sammy was bouncing his leg up and down quickly while Dean drummed some random Foreigner song onto the wooden tabletop. Bobby kept fiddling with his old baseball cap on-top of his head. Castiel was the only one that sat as calm as a cucumber.

"Relax Isabel," Castiel soothed, "Lucifer is probably busy torturing some poor soul." His voice became icy at the thought of Luci torturing souls that could be in heaven.

"I know what Lucifer does in Hell. It's either he's giving Crowley or Alastair commands or he's giving The Fallen directions..." A stab of pain hit me in gut wondering exactly what Lucifer might be doing with The Fallen. "Dammit Lucifer where are you?" I hissed out sharply. In moments everyone froze and looked behind me.

"I'm right here babe." I spun around and met eyes with a smirking Luci. Forcing myself to not smile, my lips formed a frown and my eyes turned to those of a glare.

"I have a few things to ask you." I said through clenched teeth, but Lucifer's eyes were no longer focused on me.

"I might also have some questions to ask." His eyes snapped from myself to Castiel quickly. Jealousy, rage, confusion, and distaste passed through his eyes as fast as light itself.

"Me first." I glanced at the boys and placed my hands on Lucifer's chest. Applying force, I started pushing him into the living room to talk with me. But not before giving everyone a pointed look not to follow me. "Okay, tell me the truth no matter how bad it is. Did you send The Fallen to eradicate us?" His eyebrows tilted downward in confusion then his orbs filled with seriousness.

"No, why the hell would you say that?" I scoffed and turned away.

"I don't know, maybe you were jealous that Castiel was coming back! You could've thought I'd run back to him when he was back and then you told The Fallen to kill Castiel again, but you didn't expect us four to be in the room!" I snapped. Lucifer turned his eyes to slits and clenched his hand on my wrist. In one small tug, Luci had me pressed against his chest.

"Damn free-thinking beings!" Lucifer hissed. "Is, I haven't spoken to The Fallen in days. Last time I spoke to them was to keep Alastair in line in the cages, which they were doing perfectly fine! In addition, I had no idea you four were summoning Castiel. And no, I'm not jealous of you going back to Castiel because if you do I'd be upset and ashamed, but if you stay I'll keep more in touch with you." Lucifer whispered calmly. He removed his hand from my wrist and wrapped his finger around a small curl that fell from my bun framing my face. "Now, may I ask Castiel some questions?" I looked up at him with big eyes and nodded. Lucifer always managed to surprise me with his change in attitude so frequently.

Walking back into the kitchen in front of me, he pulled a chair from the living along with him so he could sit at the old dingy wooden table along with myself. "Wow, sitting down civilly at a table with Lucifer? Who would've thought." Dean whistled low under his breath. Both Luci and I sent him a glare before focusing our attention back to Castiel.

"Castiel, how are you alive?" Lucifer commented getting straight to the point.

"I've already explained this, but I don't really know honestly." He sighed and looked at me intensely causing my to blush and turn away from him.

"What about the new mojo?" Castiel tilted his cute little head in confusion and furrowed his eyebrows. "The Fallen looked pretty beat up. We haven't found one weapon to hurt them and when I passed them in Hell they seemed to be actually tending to wounds." Luci explained.

"Maybe it was God's will to help me." Lucifer rolled his eyes at the mention of his unfair father. "Or perhaps it was adrenaline. I was about to witness Isabel dying, I had to help." Lucifer's eyes snapped to me and widened in shock.

"They were about to kill you?!" He hissed. I nodded and folded my arms across my chest. "Dammit, they're getting a piece of my mind!" Lucifer growled. He slammed his clenched fist onto the table top causing Dean, Sammy, and Bobby to jump while Castiel sat unaffected.

Placing my small hand over his large fist, I coaxed him, "Hey Luci, I'm fine. Without Castiel I probably wouldn't have been." Lucifer's fist uncurled and grasped my hand in his and held our hands in the gap between our chairs.

"Thank you Castiel. I'm going to get back down to Hell and strap those Fallen and torture them until they either 1) apologize for hurting my Isabel or 2) tell me what they think they're doing!" Lucifer stated.

"Great idea Lucifer, wow, that's really weird to say..." Sammy commented. Lucifer places one of his hands on my face and ran his finger over the three scars that formed on my cheek from The Fallen.

"Stay safe, I'll visit when I have all those beasts locked up." Lucifer muttered so I was the only one to hear. In another second, he was gone to fulfill his duties. Castiel stood up just then. Gingerly, he tapped on my shoulder.

"May I talk with you, upstairs?" He cleared his throat and took his gaze away from me. Standing up, I nodded my head and headed towards my room. Castiel followed like an obedient puppy dog. Pushing open my door, I kicked a few loosed shirts and pants. At a time like this, I was glad there weren't any bras or panties on the floor. I sat down on the old mattress while he leaned on the door frame.

"Thank you for not giving up on me." Castiel muttered so quietly I had a difficultly hearing him.

"Cas, if you didn't keep sending me those amber bees, then I would've stopped hoping you'd come back a long time ago. Those little bees were a great clue." A faint smile grew on my face. In moments, one formed on Castiel's face also.

"I'm glad you remembered Heaven. If you didn't, then I'd be wasting all my energy for nothing. You are truly a mystery to me Isabel." Castiel said the last part in a quizzical tone.

"And why would you say that?"

"Everyone loves you. I don't know if it's your beauty, charisma, honesty, or any of your other flawless qualities." Warmth spread to my cheeks causing a rosy, pink blush to form across my features.

"Castiel, you really didn't have to say that." I mumbled. He crossed the room and sat down next to me on the bed.

"I wanted to. Even though you and Lucifer have been together for almost a year, you never let your feelings for me dwindle, which fills me with miraculous joy. I could kiss you with what I'm feeling." I blinked and somehow, my thoughts passed through my lips.

"Why don't you?" I whispered. We were so close, that I could feel my warm breath hitting his slightly stubbled jaw. Castiel leaned in closer slowly. When our noses were touching, and I was gazing into his deep expanse of deep indigo, galaxy eyes, my heart flutter in my chest expectantly. But then, Castiel kissed my forehead. A symbol of acceptance and worst of all, the sign that he was leaving. Leaving, me.

"Lucifer, I can see just how in love you are with him. I can't, I wouldn't. As much as I despise him, he's lucky to have you, and if you weren't seeing him, I'd fight for you. Lucifer is a brother, an awful, blinded-by-love, brother, but he's family nonetheless." At that moment, he stood up off of the bed. Proceeding with his retreat, he headed down the stairs that creaked under the weight.

Heaving a deep sigh, I lied down with my head on the pillow and looked up at the slightly chipped ceiling. There was a feeling I couldn't get rid of, the feeling that a part of me was walking away. I love Castiel. He knew that, but he also knew that I love Lucifer. Castiel chose to give myself up so Lucifer could be happy. At times like this, I wish Castiel was a crazy son of a bitch and fought like hell to steal my heart. Not everyone's like that though, and he isn't ashamed to admit that if I've moved on, then he will too. Except, I haven't moved on, not even damn close.

/N:

More mushy, lovey dovey, Castiel for you all. Just a little insight, the sequel will be private after the first chapter, so when this one's done, if you've enjoyed it then I would follow me to see the next book. Just FYI, I will be changing the title of the book, 'Isabel Winchester' just doesn't sound right with the way the story is forming. Suggestions welcomed!

Kisses,

Rory x