Making Babies #NewAdult

~Thirty Six~

          If someone had told me a couple of years ago that I would ever meet a man that would make my heart beat the way Frederick did, I would have simply laughed in their face and then dismissed them for another time. Never would I have thought, not in a million years, that I would  ever let myself be vulnerable like that, to open up myself to another person, especially so intimately, especially someone of the opposite gender.

        I never thought this would have happened, not after all those very unfortunate situations that had taken place in my life, not after having been betrayed by the people closest to me. Being this vulnerable was scary and I was known to run away from any obstacle coming my way.

     Two years ago, if someone had told me that I would be standing in the middle of my friends and family with a big ass rock on my left ring finger and a belly that was just about to pop, I was going to call that person insane and debate whether to put said peron in an institution or not. Well okay, maybe not go that far but definitely let that dreamer know that the possibilities of that ever happening were next to zero.

     But as the saying goes, "Never say never." Whomever came up with this should give him/herself a pat on the back because this shit was so accurate that it was a bit ridiculous.

      Looking back to all that has happened to me, all that forged me and made me the person I am now, I couldn't help but be thankful that I was able to pull through because if I hadn't, if I wasn't strong enough to pull myself out of the nightmares, out of the darkness, I wouldn't have been right where I was at this very moment smiling and laughing and celebrating not only my engagement to the love of my life and the father of my child with my friends and family, but also my birthday.

      Frederick said to me a couple of weeks ago, while we were talking about my finally moving in with him and about where our life together was at this moment that, "À quelque chose malheur est bon."  Obviously I hadn't known what it had meant because my French wasn't too great. It wasn't until he had translated it all to me that I understood what he was saying.

     Basically what he had meant was that, as horrible as my rape was, if it hadn't happened, never would I have met Him or Billie or Erica Winslet. And even though the mention of that turbulent time in my life scarred me forever, I couldn't have agreed more because as cliche as it may sound, I couldn't possibly imagine my life without my family. And even though I've lost Mrs. Winslet way sooner than I had expected or even anticipated, I wouldn't had changed knowing her for the world because what she had brought into my life was more than what I was left with by my blood family.

     "Happy Birthday, babe." Frederick whispered in my ear before placing a kiss on my cheek. People that had been invited to the party were all gathered around me now. They laughed and waited for me to blow my candles. They have had just finished singing; or more so murdering the Birthday song horribly, humorously well, and truly out of rhymes, but to me it was great. Looking at all the genuine smiles on each of their faces, I couldn't help but be thankful for all that I had.

         I looked at the Cake and the many candles burning on it and laughed. "Who actually put all twenty five candles on a cake?" I joked, looking at Frederick who immediately pointed to Billie while everyone laughed.

     "Uhm, that would be me." Billie was grinning from ear to ear, not because she was embarrassed, but if I had to guess it would have probably been because she was proud. "What? I wanted everyone to know how old you are, lady." She joked and I rolled my eyes, joining in on the laughter.

    "Twenty five years old is not that old. I'm pretty sure I can still kick your butt." I replied before mouthing I love you to her, which she nodded to before replying back. I took as deep of a breath as I could and blew all twenty five candles. And when that was finally done, I sighed very dramatically, while everyone around me applauded.