NICOTINE || Alex Ramos

Chapter 32

Song for this chapter: Bleeding Love by Leona Lewis

"You love her, don't you?" I separated my face from his chest. The look on his face proved he knew exactly what I was talking about. "I never even told her the truth, I never told her." He let out a breath of regret, unable to even keep eye contact with me.

Lauren's P.O.V
Will and I have pretty much lost all contact after our encounter, but I've had Alex around me more often recently.

I can truly tell the difference in him without having Sarah, he doesn't wanna admit it but damn he's in deep.

I wish she was here for him, I wish she was here for me also, but what he said to her was harsh and selfish, I don't blame her.

He hurt her, and I kinda ruined it for him by telling him to leave her be and give up, but if she doesn't have intentions of coming back to him, he shouldn't force it upon her.

If she wants him she'll come back, but that doesn't mean she has to drop her entire future for Alex.

If he doesn't want to lose her, he has to show it. She doesn't know his feelings, she cant just assume that they're there, she can't lie to herself.

He has proved it somewhat before through light gestures, but she knows nothing more than that from him.

He needs to try and that's just it. It is not just going to be handed over to him. You have to fight for what you want, it will never just come on to you on it's own. He has no right to sit here doing nothing and expect her to come running into his arms.

The only person that knows how he truly feels is himself and he has to show it and do something about it, or not do anything and then continue to regret it.

I mean maybe his feelings aren't even as strong as I am imagining them to be, but if he truly wants her then he should work towards getting her back somehow or at least figure everything out.

"She was with some other guy." I listened to his prolonged sigh.

"It could have been a friend that answered the phone, you never know." I made light of the situation.

"He called her sweet tits." He gave me a look that just screamed "really?!"

"Okay, okay, but in her defense that doesn't mean she moved on. You guys were never faithful to each other in that category besides when you were actually labeled boyfriend & girlfriend. Any other time you each were off fucking anybody you could get your hands on." I admitted.

"Not saying that is what she is currently doing, but you guys aren't together you can't be mad about that."

"Whether I have the right to be mad or the right to be jealous I'm still going to be all of thee above. I still look at her as if she is my girlfriend, eventhough we don't even speak, I would never consider her anything less."

"That's not the problem here. The problem is that she doesn't know any of this stuff, you should be telling her, not me. You have to try for her, if you want her, you have to get her." I shrugged my shoulders, informing him for an extra time on what he needs to do.

Sarah's P.O.V
Days here seem to drag on longer than they should, classes take forever to go by, and the nights seem to be sleepless.

I've been getting homesick to the point I even considered dropping out, but instead I'm just planning a visit instead of ruining my opportunity here.

I ended up texting Will this morning and I still haven't received a reply, I wanted to surprise Lauren but I guess I don't know what's been going on between them lately.

I pretty much distanced myself from all of them during my time here, they probably want nothing to do with me after my selfishness, that's probably why I haven't heard from Will. I constantly never returned his calls or responded to his messages until day a later, I don't blame him.

I'm planning on flying out there in a few days, during the break we have from our classes.

I guess I'm just going to be surprising all of them since I can't get ahold of anyone.

Hopefully they will be excited, hopefully they even miss me, and hopefully it wont be awkward.

I was thinking about inviting Toni but she is going back to her own hometown during break.

"Are you going to work things out with him while you're there?" Toni's voice lightly startled me as she referred to Alex.

I sat there thinking about her question, so many different options filled my head leaving me unsure of what I wanted to do.

Either a miracle will happen and we will be civil to one another or we're just going to fight like always.

"I don't know." I answered her with an effortless tone.

"Even if you do fix things with each other, long distance relationships have very slim chances of surviving." she was giving me honesty, relating it to her past lessons.

"I know." I was able to hear my own internal scream as my body filled with pure confusion.

"I'm so ready to start getting a decent amount of sleep at night." Her light chuckle at her own statement was contagious, causing me to repeat the action.

I heard my phone receive a notification and my heart fluttered in hope to be one of the three people I was wishing it to be, but it wasn't.

I sighed in frustration, "Stop stressing yourself over it, they'll be glad to see you." Toni attempted to relieve my nerves, but it didn't help. I laid there in fear thinking that the few people I had left ended up leaving me behind because I physically left them first.

A/N: Once again, sorry for the late updates. I went through a lot of relationship and family problems recently and I'm still forcing myself to toughen through these updates for you guys. This was pretty much just a lame, repetitive filler chapter that you may not have enjoyed. I love you xoxo