R A G E

when I was younger

I have wondered, throughout my years, whether I wasn't enough or whether I was too much.

At times, I have not been enough to make someone happy or make someone feel okay.

And at times, I have been too much for someone to handle.

When I was younger, I had a friend who I chose above everyone else. I gave up other people, just to be with that person. It was a mistake that I've never quite learned from. My friend told me one day that she needed a break, and that I was too much for her, and that she needed to breathe. It's been about ten years since then, and she never did want me back. I tried to win her again, but it never worked. 

Nowadays, this is repeated. And I still haven't learned. I put too much focus on one person, yet it's all the wrong things and never the right things.

I'm hoping that one day I'll find someway to balance myself.