A Momentary Lapse Of Reason

Capital Campaign

"How does Cecil still deny the existence of mountains?" Natalia furrowed her brow in confusion.

"I think that he is just conditioned due to his extensive exposure to retraining to believe them to not be a true construct of reality." Ellie mused aloud. The team stared at her in bemusement.

"What?" She said innocently.

Ring! Ring!

"Oh, that's me." Jeffries pulled out his phone from his waistcoat pocket. "It's the Community College. One moment." He walked off swiftly and spoke to the people on the phone in the corner of the room.

"I'm so glad we gave the people of Night Vale Brent's number for scientific emergencies." Natalia said. "He always answers. Unlike someone we know."

"Hey!" Ellie and Carlos both yelped in protest, before staring at each other through the phone screen.

"She obviously means me."

"No, Nat means me!"

"Are they seriously arguing who is worse?" Rochelle whispered out of the corner of her mouth to Natalia.

"With these two, anything can happen." Natalia replied with a giggle.

"Ain't that the truth." Dave murmured next to them as the three continued to watch the bickering scientists.

~

Rabbits. Why did it have to be rabbits? Why, more importantly, did it have to be him asked to help deal with the rabbits?

Jeffries tried not to have a panic attack as he drove towards the Night Vale community college with Rochelle. Jeffries' ties with the schools in Night Vale made him the first choice when the president of the Community College, Sarah Sulton (who just so happened to be a smooth, fist-sized river rock), called asking for scientific help. Rochelle had volunteered to come along as well as she knew a bit of zoology, and also because Ellie couldn't come. It wasn't that the biochemist wouldn't come, it was more that she shouldn't. Ellie was entranced by cute, fluffy animals and was also still laughing her head off bickering with Carlos over who was worse with their phone. Natalia and Dave had assured the two leaving scientists that they wouldn't tell her what she would be missing out on.

"I've just been informed that Mrs. Sylvia Wickersham has made another large donation to the Night Vale Community College Capital Campaign, this one consisting of 1,000 live and extremely fluffy rabbits. The Capital Committee is beginning to have difficulty finding space on campus to house her donations. What foliage existed on campus has been immediately devoured. Several of the botany program's greenhouses have been broken into and ransacked. And many of the rabbits have reportedly entered the Student Center, refusing to wait in line before ordering at the snack bar, and taking way more napkins than they need."

Jeffries knuckles turned white as they gripped the wheel of the van.

"Are you okay?" Rochelle asked in worry.

"Ah....I'll be fine." He answered unconvincingly.

"Brent, you haven't looked this nervous since you had to drive us away from the House That Doesn't Exist. What's wrong? You can tell me."

".....promise ya won't laugh."

"I promise."

"It's the rabbits."

Rochelle blanched. Of all the things she had expected, that was not really one of them. "Uh...what? The-the rabbits?!"

"Ya said ya wouldn't laugh!"

"But why?"

Jeffries shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He scratched his beard with his right hand before sighing and placing it back on the wheel.