A Momentary Lapse Of Reason

Faceless Old Woman

Summary: Natalia's attempts to get Dana food result in a biological mystery, the team have problems with the Faceless Old Woman and Carlos investigates a mysterious hole in a wall.

"I'll be back in an hour." Carlos said, grabbing a lab coat from the hooks and slipping it on.

"Going to meet Cecil?" Jeffries asked.

"No. The Smithwick house called. Apparently there's an enormous hole in their wall that keeps absorbing things, so I'm going to take a look."

"Fair enough." Jeffries laughed. "Have fun, Carlos."

"I don't think I will on this one." The head scientist sighed. "The level of probability that the family has already been absorbed into a completely different plane of existence is too high to be fun."

"Oh." Jeffries' smile faltered a little. "Well I'll jus' say good luck then."

"Thanks, Brent. And I'm sorry."

Jeffries waved a hand to shake it off and Carlos headed out of the door.

~

"Was that Carlos?" Natalia asked inquisitively as she leapt down the stairs three at a time.

"Jus' left for the Smithwick house." Jeffries confirmed. "Somethin' about a hole in the wall."

"He still hasn't asked Cecil on a date."

"We mustn't push 'im, Dr Johnson." Jeffries said wifely . "Carlos can get shy, ya know tha'."

Natalia nodded. "How are you doing?"

"Workin' on some samples from a rock that was found in the undergroun' city. Carlos found it on his clothes. It's a weird 'un."

"How so?"

"Well for star'ers, it doesn't have a definite rock type."

"Well that's....new."

"It's annoyin'." Jeffries sighed. "Cecil's show on today?"

"Yeah, it should already be on. I'll get the radio."

Natalia sped off towards the communal room where the radio was already on, as was mandated when Cecil's show was airing.

"Did you know there's a Faceless Old Woman who secretly lives in your home? It's true! She's there now. She's always there, just out of your sight. Always just out of your sight. Because you cannot see her, you were probably completely unaware that this woman likes to sift through photos of you and your loved ones...."

Natalia shuddered. "That's creepy." She turned around briefly but there was nothing there. She breathed a sigh of relief and brought the radio down to Jeffries, where Ellie had joined him in analysing the rock samples.

"Morning, Nat."

"Hey, Ellie. Brought the radio down."

"The Faceless Old Woman who secretly lives in your home does lots of things. Ever wonder why your web browser's history is filled with Bing searches for - quote - 'pictures of dead wolves,' or - quote - 'the melting point of birds?' Or why sometimes your shower drain gets clogged with organ meats?"

Ellie paled. "How does Cecil know about that?"

"Wait, what?" Natalia's three eyes widened. "That's been happening to you?"

"Well, yes. I thought you guys noticed the meat in the shower too!"

"No!" Natalia exclaimed. "When did that happen?"