The Everyday Life of a Villain

I Need to Shut Up

Getting the hang of it, everyone! Sooner or later, I'll get back into the plot. Or maybe I already am. 

I never told anyone this, but I actually really liked reading. It's a nice pastime, I used to do it when I was a fetus in, like, middle school and life sucked, but didn't suck as much. And believe me when I say I hate hipster bookstores and how everyone in there looks exactly the same and all that shit, but Barnes and Noble has literally nothing and I needed to get something.

So there I stood, with Georgie on my left and Ryan on my right, staring at the least hipster looking bookstore in the city. Yes, there are many hipster bookstores in this metropolitan city. Fuck you.

"Can we go to the record store?" Ryan asked, pointing at the store a few doors down. The Vinyl Frontier. Believe me, we have tons of record stores in the city and they all have punny names; Georgie gets a kick out of them.

Ever since Ryan traded, like, test answers for a broken record player, he and Georgie have been obsessed with record collecting. Eh, at least the stores they go to don't have ridiculous prices. Well, I mean, they do, but I just went on a few heists recently, so we're pretty well-off right now.

I stared at the hipster store; maybe I could find a non-hipster guy there and I could get a date or something. At least, that's what the Hollywood movies and trashy YA novels say can happen. And besides, the kids can take care of themselves.

"Thanks, Declan!" Georgie cried, grabbing Ryan's hand and pulling him down the street and towards the store. 

I can't believe it. I'm growing soft. Someone slap me with a knife, please.

I watched them leave before remembering myself and forgetting them, walking into the store. I stayed as anti-social as possible. Get it? Anti-social? Because I'm an anti? No? Well, fuck you, I'm hilarious.

I scanned the bookshelves and grabbed the most interesting looking book, sitting down and scanning it. They had really nice seats in this store, I might come here more often. The book was pretty okay for a YA novel. It was fantasy or some shit, it was about falsely accused faeries or some shit and the main girl was bisexual so like I'm down and the characters weren't annoying so you know, it's pretty good.

I should be a fucking book critic, did you see that eloquent wording shit?

"Small world."

I looked up to see Lex looking at me, holding books. This needs to fucking stop, like what, does he work here too?

"No, I actually work at the record store across the street, Vinyl Frontier." He was grinning with that stupid ass grin of his. It took me a minute to realize it, but he answered my question. Did I actually think out loud? 

"Yes. You did." He grinned wider, the little bastard, and he giggled when I waved my book around. I'm trying to be menacing, who do you think you are?

"A guy who wants to say hi? Where are the kids, how've you all been doing?" I gave up and just stared at him and his stupid face.

"They're at the record store you work at. Eh, I should probably go check on them, huh?" No, I really shouldn't.

He nodded. "I'd think so. Here, let me pay for these and I'll walk with you."

I followed him towards the line. What the fuck was I doing? I'm like a fucking puppy, following the actual kitten towards the counter. And, of course, because I'm so fucking confused I don't notice the little fucker grab my book and pay for it.

Eh, who am I to complain about free things?

I followed him towards the record store, trying not to seem like a puppy. I think I failed, but whatever. Lex started talking about college—I forgot that that was a thing that I used to do, like, online—and he mentioned his attractive cousin once or twice, but other than that I tuned him out.

I didn't feel bad about it. I didn't!

We walk into the store and there comes Ryan, looking like he just witnessed a murder. He saw one a while back, we don't talk about that.

"What's up, kid?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. This'll be good.

"Georgie likes a boy!"

What. The. Fuck.

I updated! The book Declan was reading is a semi-promo! He was reading the book I am currently working on called, as of currently, "Faerie Dust". I'm really excited, so check it out when it goes up! 

Edit 4/28/16: FAERIE DUST IS UP! I REPEAT THE FOREWORD IS UP I'M GOING TO POST THE FIRST CHAPTER TOMORROW! CHECK THE EXTERNAL LINK!