The Everyday Life of a Villain

I'm Gay, Deal with It

Prompt 3: Write a chapter in which your villain defends a comic villain while out with a friend

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If anyone asked why I brought Ryan and Georgie with me to Raul's party, I'd say I was drugged. I don't take drugs, so they'd believe me. But seriously, why the hell did I take the two kids to the party where there will be alcohol? Why do I care?

The two had brought things in their bags in case they got bored; Georgie also brought pepper spray, though Ryan tried to use it on her.

We walked up to Raul's apartment- he's not cool enough to get a loft, like me- and rang the doorbell. It opened a few seconds later to reveal Raul's girlfriend, Amy. Ugh.

I plastered on a smile, "Hey, Amy."

She gave me a similarly fake one back, "Hey, Declan."

Georgie frowned, "Why do you think he's an asswipe?" Amy gasped as Georgie just stared at her. I pushed past Amy, "apologizing" for Georgie, and went to find Raul and a place to tell Georgie to never pull a stupid stunt like that again.

"She just thinks she said it out loud, I know not to do that. She's just annoying," Georgie huffed as I walked towards Raul. Damn right, she's annoying. Georgie nodded- damn, she heard me.

I sat the two on one of the couches that no one was sitting at. Raul walked up to me right away and demanded why I brought two kids with me.

"Look, man, it's a long story, but they'll be fine and won't get in the way. Promise," I said.

He sighed, "Fine, man, but keep an eye on them." No shit, Sherlock.

I looked over at Georgie who nodded, whispered in Ryan's ear, then started to casually spin her pepper spray on one finger as they pulled out the phones that I did not buy for them- little shits stole my money again.

I went to get a drink, but since I'm not legal to drink, I wasn't allowed to get it. Assholes. So that's how I ended up drinking Pepsi. Pepsi! Not even Coke, just freaking Pepsi! Stupid Amy. I poured some Mountain Dew and gave it to the kids because Georgie had just learned how to direct her whining directly into my head. One day she's going to learn how to project Ryan's whining into my head. Then I'll kill them.

I sat down with Enzo and listened to him talk about comic books and those superhero movies with some other people. I had to admit, I loved to read comics and watch those moves and shows, they're really entertaining.

"Dude, Fisk was such a nut! He's crazy!" What? I looked up and stared at the random person that decided to say that. He was pretty cute, but not that cute. But his personality seemed pretty crappy.

"Actually, dude, what he did made perfect sense," I said. I always played it cool and calm so that when they get riled up, they look like complete idiots.

"What? C'mon, man, he was a sicko. Have you even seen Daredevil?" he asked, scoffing. I tried to not punch his self-righteous face, because seriously, he has such a punchable face.

"I've seen it," was all I said. I also read the comics, but you know what, asshole, I'll let you have this one.

He nodded, "Then you know he was crazy." I sighed and laughed a little, just to piss him off. He frowned, "What?"

I smiled, "Well...it makes sense for you to think he's crazy, of course, but that's usually if you're a 2D sort of person. You see, with his sort of troubled past, he believes that he is responsible for helping people. In his eyes, he's the "good guy". He wasn't crazy, he just had his own opinions and goals and a way to achieve them."

He gritted his teeth at me, "2D?"

I scoffed, "That's what you're focusing on? It's just an adjective, it's fine, man."

He shook his head, "You're such an ass, you know that?"

I shrugged, "I've been told." There were some people who laughed and nodded. See! They like me more than you 2D Ass. He scoffed and rolled his eyes.

"Who are you, even, man?" he asked, "You just stopped by, kid? Don't you have curfew or something?" I was about to call him out on his stupid BS, but Georgie beat me to the punch. Well, the words, I was going to punch him after.

"Kid? Seriously, that's the best you can do? Wow, that's so mature. Also, he's been friends with Raul longer than you have. In fact, this is your first time ever meeting everyone else, you got here with Enzo, because Raul said he could bring someone and you were just dumped. You're only twenty-one, only two years older than Declan, so you're just a pathetic loser who wants power. Wow."

Everyone was quiet and just stared at Georgie. What was she thinking, you're exposing yourself! You idiot! She just blinked, smiled, and skipped back to the couch where Ryan was staring at her, fiddling with a fork.

"Who're they?" 2D Ass asked, pointing at them.

"None of your business, asshole," Ryan said. They all gaped at him, then looked at me. I just shrugged; they're not my kids.

"No wonder you don't have a girlfriend," Amy scoffed. Are you serious? I sighed and turned to look at her.

I rolled my eyes and stood up, "I'm gay, honey. Just, you know, plain gay. So, there. Kids, get your stuff, I actually understand social cues. Enzo, Raul, others that I like but didn't talk to."

The three of us walked out in style, with our heads held high. If I get kicked out, I get kicked out like a boss. I heard someone mutter 'drama queen', so I did what I usually did. I looked at them- I didn't recognize them- so I took a spoon and threw it at their face. Then I walked out the door.

You see, my original friends, the ones that didn't take up the entire room with their gossip, were actually okay with the way I acted. Or else we wouldn't have been friends. They knew that that's the sort of thing I did, so they were going to have to explain it to the other heathens.

"I didn't know you were gay," Georgie said on my left.

Ryan scoffed, "Why didn't you just listen in?"

She frowned, "I don't check people's sexuality, it's rude. I only check on the surface on what they're thinking of."

Ryan scoffed again- he probably got that from me-, "That's a waste." She glared at him.

My head is starting to hurt- I just drank Pepsi and got called a childish asshole by some unnamed punk and now they were starting to argue. "I am gay. So there."

Georgie grinned, "Sweet! I'll go ask Marcy if her uncle is available." Wait what? Hell no! Hell to the fucking no! She pouted, "Why not!" I glared at her; I can get myself a date, thank you very much. She sighed, "Can we at least get you laid. I think you'd get a lot looser." Ryan snorted. I'm done with this conversation.

We got to the loft and walked inside, tossing their bags on the couch.

"I want you to get changed and go to sleep, my head is hurting and I'm going to pass out soon. So see you."

I didn't even change, I just fell on my bed and went to sleep.

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The next morning, I woke up with a bunch of Daredevil comic books and relationship pamphlets at the foot of my bed. I could hear the Daredevil theme song in the living room.

Geez, these kids actually pay attention. Crap.

A/N Sorry this isn't as funny (if I was funny at all) this time, I had some trouble with this one