The Everyday Life of a Villain

Xtreme 4-U Mart

Prompt 8: Write a chapter in which your character suits up and uses their skills/powers to rob a big name store [because fuck capitalism]. They come home to find a friend or love interest waiting for them

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Fuck capitalism.

I'm not so sure what the hell capitalism is, but it sounds bourgeois as hell.

"Georgie, what is it, I'm the middle of something?" I- didn't- whine, picking up my phone.

I could see her pinching the bridge of her eight-year-old nose through the phone, "Capitalism is an economic and political system in which a country's trade and industry are controlled by private owners for profit, rather than by the state."

Whatever, girlie, whose money bought you that phone?

I hung up and headed to the biggest 4-U Mart I could find. Oh, 4-U Mart. With your jacked up prices that you claim are low. With your dumbass cashiers, customers, and long lines. It will be my immense pleasure to crush you. I'm even doing it in broad daylight.

I headed over to the Xtreme 4-U Mart, right, and I'm in there with the gun I pawned off some guy in exchange for a wooden chair- I don't even know. So I'm shooting the ceiling, screaming at everyone to get down, stay down, taking hostages.

It's great.

And I'm taking the money while flirting with the cute cashier, but he's too busy trying to call his girlfriend to tell her he loves him or something. Honestly, if you have your phone, call the damn cops! Idiot.

And so I've got a shit ton of money in my bag and I'm just sort of shooting random things so that they'll cry some more because honestly, these people are so gullible, they really think I'm going to kill them! It's hilarious.

I let the families with kids go because- and I will never say this again- there were these two kids in a family that reminded me of Georgie and Ryan and while their parents were crying- wimps- they were just sort of looking at me with these stupid huge eyes and I really didn't need that in my brain.

So I'm just sorta lounging on one of the counters when the door bursts open and I'm just pointing the gun at it 'cause the cops never know who's bluffing or not, but I don't hear shouts for back up or anything.

So I'm confused, right, and I turn to look and of course, it's none other than Luxe.

"Nemesis! It's great to see you, man!" I cheered, jumping down from the counter. He just rolls his eyes at me and starts to let the people go. I don't do anything because the adults' wails were getting annoying. I mean, c'mon, people, the kids and the elderly are holding it together better than you are!

I wink at the cashier, but he scurries away, thanking Luxe and mumbling about his girlfriend or something. No need to rub it in, guy, I get you're not interested. Geez, I have boundaries.

I swing my legs, sitting back on the counter, watching him let all of the people go. I sort of have my backpack on casually so that he doesn't think I have anything to hide. I'm a smart person, people, sheesh.

"So, how've you been?" I ask when all the people have rushed out. I gotta hand it to the guy, he got them out without any of them getting trampled. It's sorta a shame, but you know.

"I've been good. What about you, how've you and the kids been?" He sat on the counter across from me.

Is he really putting up with this? Awesome!

I shrug, "They're good, but G-uh, Girlie's been getting kinda pushy. Though...Dude's always been annoying."

I pout as he snorts, looking at the store, "I'm guessing you thought 'fuck capitalism' when you decided to rob this place. Speaking of which, can you return the money man?"

Damn it, he noticed. But it was still pretty cool he knew what I was thinking. Maybe he's like Georgie!

I stared at him for a long time, but he didn't react, so I took out the money, assuming that he wasn't a telepath. Which was good.

I stuff a handful of bill in my jacket pocket- he just rolled his eyes, so yay, money!- and threw the bag at him. He tossed the bag and it landed on one of the rafters. My jaw most certainly did not drop, but he did smirk at me when I turned to him. Asshole.

I stretched and felt my back pop, "I had the worst date ever a while back."

He winced, "Geez, I just met someone who did too. Man, did you stuff breadsticks in a purse? Because that would've been awesome. I should've told him to do that."

I snorted and shook my head. That was a really good idea, though.

Before I could say anything else, something beeped and he groaned, "Okay, I have to head home. We should do this again sometime. Probably with less destruction or stealing. 'Kay?"

No promises.

"We'll see. See you."

He waved and sped off. I went out the back way and headed home. As I was sticking the keys into the door I realized something. He had called off the cops.

Wait, I could always just walked through the door.

I tried to walk through the door, like I did with the truck, but I just smacked my face into it. I really hope no one saw that.

I opened the door and found Georgie standing there, arms crossed. Ryan was fiddling with a fork, frowning.

"Since when can you walk through walls?"

Shit