The Everyday Life of a Villain

Side-Kids

Prompt 11: Write a chapter in which your villain gets a sidekick

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I pride myself on working alone, so that there are no feelings whatsoever when it comes to working. I do, occasionally, assist others and sometimes I let others assist me, but there's never been a long time partner(s). The longest partner I had was Venimous, but we don't mention him...

Anyways, it's been about a month since that whole Francine LeBouf thing and Enzo is now currently a member of our weird little friend group thing that meets up at the bar on 9th. Whatever.

So I'm walking to my loft, kicking a tree that a cat is currently in- I got to get out of there fast, supers have this weird cat-stuck-in-a-tree detection that I really hate. So I reach my loft and I'm pulling out my keys when I realize that the lights are on and the door's unlocked.

I never give spare keys to anyone, not since Vec-I mean Venimous. It's a long story. I push open the door, ready to viciously beat- but not kill, I don't do killing- whoever decided to break into my loft.

That's when I see two little kids on my sofa. They don't even look at me, they just keep reading their books. What are they even reading? I bend down to look. Peter Pan and Alice's Adventures in Wonderland.

One of them holds out a bottle of orange soda while the other holds out a straw. I take both and just stare. What is going on?

The two close their books, probably finishing their chapters, and turn to look at me. They both have glossy black hair, although one was Native American and the other was Vietnamese.

"What's for dinner?" the boy, the Native American, asked. I gaped at him and he scoffed, grabbing the paper bag out of my hands.

I scrambled for it, but he handed it to the girl who walked to the table and started setting the plates. "Honestly," she said, "You need to tidy up. Like, your civilian items are next to your villain items, your civilian colleagues are going to find out who you are and your cover will be blown, you'll lose your friends, and you'll probably go to jail.

Why couldn't I do anything but gape! The boy started going through the contents and pulled out the pasta. He pulled out some pans and poured some water in, then put it on the stove, turning it on.

I ran over to him and turned off the stove. He whined in protest and turned it back on. I was not in the mood to fight over dinner next to some soon to be scalding water. I grabbed his arm, grabbed her arm, and dragged the two back to the living room.

"Who are you and what are you doing here?" I demanded. I was not hysterical in the least.

The two looked at each other and rolled their eyes. Don't roll your eyes at me, I'm older than you! You're like, what, six?

"We're eight, actually," the girl said smoothly. My jaw dropped. Can she read...? She nodded, "Yeah, I can read minds. He can bend metal. We're the real life Professor X and Magneto, except I'm a girl."

"We're your new sidekicks. Except we don't so much fight as we do just sort of keep you company and make sure no one knows your identity," the boy translated, "I'm Ryan, she's Georgie."

I blinked, "I don't do sidekicks." The two snorted. Dirty minded brats. I ran a hand over my face, "How'd you even find me?" She tapped her temple and I resisted the urge to strangle them. I don't like kids crying and I have a feeling these two cry.

"No. Nuh-uh, you not staying here. Sorry, not sorry, get out," I said, pushing them towards the door. I tried to unlock it, but the lock wouldn't open. I whipped around to glare at the boy- Ryan- who looked up at me defiantly.

"The only reason why I'm not making you let us stay here is because I have morals," Georgie said, "But that doesn't mean we can't convince you to let us stay."

I sighed, "What makes you think I'll let you stay?"

"You're lonely. You were pretty much screaming it when you got closer to the loft," Georgie said, "We can keep you company. We can either be supers or villains, but I'm sure you'd rather have us on your side than on Heroesis' side."

Ugh. Herosis. There's no way I'm letting him gain anymore power. Stupid little twat. I nodded at the two of them.

"Okay. You can stay. But not forever! I just need to set some ground rules. Stay out of my stuff."

"Too late," they interrupted.

I sighed- I have a feeling I'll be doing a lot of that- "Okay, whatever. Don't call me a villain, it's so bourgeois. Call me an Anti." They nodded easily. I thought some more, but I couldn't think of anything. Thanks a lot, brain. "I'll set more when we get to it. Just finish up the cooking."

They cheered and went to go check on the pasta. I'm screwed, aren't I?

The food tasted really good, actually. Probably because I bought the ingredients. The two could talk. A lot. I learned that they were from someplace that meant something to me, but I wasn't ready to know it yet. That the two weren't really on any side, just on their own. And that they took the liberty of converting the spare room into a bedroom for themselves. Whatever.

When we were done, the two were way too eager to stay up and read some more. I commend them for that at least. Normally, I love staying up late and I always believed that parents need to give their kids some more freedom.

But I was way too tired to watch over some hyped up brats, so I stole their books and told them to sleep. They whined about it, until I swore to burn their books if they didn't. That shut them up. Until Georgie thought I was going to be cruel and burn them anyway and she started to cry. I threw their books at them, told them to sleep, and raced to my room.

I heard a muffled 'Good night' and an hour later, snores. Huh. They're good kids. For kids. I wonder how we'd get along. Sidekicks. More like Side-kids.