Officially Blake's

CHAPTER 38

We walked silently to his car and drove away. The atmosphere was painfully quiet and awkward. I would look at him every now and then at the mirror and catch him glancing at me. When I felt like I should say something, the words slipped out of my mouth like a fish slipping out of water. Death-defying.

"Tracy... comes...not?"

I held my breath for a few seconds before hearing him chuckle. That's when I felt a little at ease. I chuckled along with him. "Hindi siya pupunta eh."

I nodded. Then, yet again, the eerie stillness occurred. I turned the radio on and guess what? Guess what was on.

Hiling by Silent Sanctuary.

It was the first song that we danced to. That time, in the parking lot, when I saw him cry for the first time. And it was because of Tracy. Oh, wow, life, thanks.

I was not even sure how I was able to remember that. I mean it was so obvious that I was the kind of person who forgets everything that happened even just two or three hours ago and then BAM! Suddenly, I remembered something that happened many months ago.

I had a mixed feeling of discomfort, regret, guilt and sadness.

My left eye twitched uncontrollably and when I was about to turn the radio off, he pushed my hand away, blandly. "Ssshhh," he told me.

He pulled over. I looked at him as he started to sing, "At hihiling sa mga bituin na minsan pa sana ako'y iyong mahalin. Hihiling kahit dumilim ang aking daan na tatahakin patungo sa'yo."

I turned the radio off. He looked at me with sad eyes; mine were already teary. It was all too painful. And that was an understatement.

“Just stop, okay? Stop singing that! Stop singing that for me! Stop asking it because I could give in anytime. Just—“ I bit my tongue to hold back the words that could be a whole lot worse.

“S-sorry,” he apologized.

“H-hindi ko naman alam na magagalit ka eh.”

“You’re not Blake. You know why? Because you’re not happy. And Blake Perez was always happy. He didn’t give a damn shit about the world. He didn’t care.”

“I used to be like that,” he said, quietly.

We both kept our gaze on the dark, empty road.

“Then we broke up,” he added.

I wanted to cry. I wanted to hold his hand. I wanted to hug him. I wanted to tell him things will be alright. I wanted to comfort him. I wanted to tell him that I was not the one for him. I wanted to tell him that he would find another girl way better than me.

I looked out the window and sighed. "Let's just go," I said calmly.

Couldn't he feel that the more he does this, the more I wanted to come back to him? And I couldn't even though I badly wanted to.

We drove away again and the only thing in my mind was last night.

It was around four in the morning and everyone, but me, was sleeping. The movie was still going on but I wasn't paying any attention to it. I was leaning lazily on my seat with my eyes closed. I tried to but I couldn't sleep. Maybe I just needed some stretching.

So I stood up and stretched my muscles then sat down again. But nothing happened.

A few minutes later, while I was complaining on how hard it was to catch sleep when you needed it the most, "Nicolle," I heard someone called. I looked at Andrew but he was still deep in his sleep. Then I realized whose voice that was.