Turning Tables (Jikook)

Chapter 13: Realizations

I don't want to lose him. I CAN'T lose him.

I'm in love with him.

I decided that there's no running from it. I'm in love with him, no matter what I do, I am IN LOVE with him. And all I did all this time was to hurt him, the person I love, denying him the fact that I also love him.

"Do I have a chance?" That question of his kept ringing in my mind. Now I know why I couldn't answer him – why I couldn't say NO YOU DON'T. It's because yes, he has a chance, lots of it actually, and I'm only afraid of admitting it. Fear.

Now is my turn to ask that question. Do WE still have chance? To make it right this time? To make it all up to him? Do I get a second chance to show him that I also love him?

Now that I've seen the sunrise, and realized my true feelings, I feel like it's time to face reality. I walked my way back to the hospital. When I entered the room, only Tae and Yoongi were there. As usual, sleeping Yoongi and Tae... WHAT?! What does he think is he doing?! Wiping Jimin's face! Wait, why am I too angry? What's wrong with me?

I slowly approached Tae from behind and took in all the courage in the world before speaking. "Tae-hyung, can we talk?" I asked. I tried my best no to sound as nervous as I really am right now.

I watched as Tae slowly stood up, turned around and looked at me. He can hit me right now. Jin-hyung isn't here. Oh well, I deserve it.

"So, what do you want to talk about?" Tae asked to me. I was surprised that he was in a good mood today.

"Something about Jimin-hyung..." I said. He turned to sit again.

"...and me." I continued. He paused. He stood up again and woke up Yoongi.

"Hyung, wake up. Can you please watch Jimin-hyung for a while? I need to talk with Jungkook." Tae said, shaking Yoongi to wake him up. Yoongi woke up and gave Tae an irritated look before taking Tae's position near Jimin's bed and watching over him.

"Follow me." Tae said to me as he opened to the door.

The two of us climbed up the stairs of the building until we reached the rooftop. We stayed there, leaning on the rails, feeling the morning breeze brush across our faces. Except for the rustling of the wind, nothing else could be heard.

"You want to talk, right?" Tae asked, breaking the silence of the rooftop. I just hummed in response.

"Then talk." Tae continued. I was wrong think that he's in a good mood today. He's scary.

"Ok, I was jogged this morning and went to the place that Jimin-hyung always goes to when he jogs." I said to him.

"Ok, so what now?" Tae asked. There's no hiding the disinterest in his voice.

"Well, when I went there, I had some time with myself... to reflect on the things I did. I'm here to... say sorry for all the things I've done to you and more importantly to Jimin-hyung. I don't know where to start to make it up to you guys." I said to him. I noticed I've been a crying mess since yesterday, because I can feel my eyes being filled with tears again.

"It's alright to me. But let me tell you something... I don't know how you can make it up to Jimin-hyung. Even though he loves you so much, the words you said are beyond just hurtful. You killed his heart, Jungkook. You messed him up." Tae said with a slight hint of concern in his voice. Do I really have to say this to him? Oh well, this is the first step for making it up to THEM.

"And hyung, there's another thing. When I was up there, I realized I can't bear seeing Jimin-hyung like that. It hurts me so much. When I saw the snapback lying in the streets with blood, the existence of my whole world threatened to cease. I don't know what to do without Jimin-hyung – his bright smile, his contagious laugh, his everything." I narrated to him the things that I realized earlier in the morning.