Matty has fallen asleep on my chest, with his hand under my shirt pressed against my heart. His brown curls tickle at my lips, bringing a heavy smile to my face. His song still plays in my head as I draw circles around his shoulder.
The house is quiet. Louis ran off with his friends and I'm sure Denise left to be with her husband. The moment the thought leaves my head I look down to his bandaged hand. His fingers look worse, I just want to kiss them; I actually want to bring him to the hospital but I know he's had enough of them and now he won't go near one.
I gingerly pull at the tape holding the bandage together, letting the pinkish material fall onto my chest. I hiss at how swollen and discolored it is, all the way down to his wrist. When I go to touch it he flinches awake, looking up at me doe-eyed.
"What are you doing?" He flexes his hand wincing at the pain.
"I was just looking, it looks so bad."
He leans up to kiss my forehead, smiling up at me.
"You need to stop worrying about me. Worry about yourself before you end up pushing daisies." I nod, agreeing with him all the while still looking at the eggplant on the end of his arm.
"The days almost done with, what do you want to do?"
I shrug, the clock on his nightstand says 6:11pm, I just want to lay here. I can't do much with no legs.
"I don't know," I tell him, making more circles.
"Let's go for a drive?"
"A drive where?"
"Anywhere." I furrow my brow looking down at my feet.
"Are we leaving again?" My voice is hitched, the dryness of incoming tears threatening to kill me.
"No, we're not leaving." He tells me, wrapping me in his arms. " I promise we're staying right here. We're just going on a ride."
I'm embarrassed by how emotional I can't get about a car ride, but also so in love with the way he makes me feel at ease.
He's swaddles me up in a blanket, pulls on a jumper, and grabs his keys before coming to pick me up. I wrap my arms around his neck and he starts down the stairs, smiling down at me and then back up to see where he's going. I touch his bare chest with my lips, feeling his warmth.
Once we're outside he sits me inside the passenger seat and walks over to the drivers side and we go.
"So you understand he could never love you like I could,
He could never provide for you like I could." He spits, his green eyes pooling over with rage.
I look down at the white bandages on my lap, the yucky ones still in his hand. I'm afraid he might punch me again but he's still and his voice is soft, not threatening like last time.
"You made me do this because I love you too much to watch you ruin your life. You just don't get it."
"I do," I tell him, squeezing my eyes shut. "I know you love me but it's not about that anymore. What you've done- here today will never be forgiven and once Matty finds us this allusion you've created will fall apart and you'll be left alone!"
Matty twist and turns through towering trees all aligning this dirt road that seems to never end but the water crashing at the rocks below tells me it does. He stops the car, the engine moaning as it comes to a stop. His hand finds mine and he looks down at me, kissing it.
"I love you so much." I blush, squeezing his hand too. Even though I go he's said this to me a thousand times I still find myself giggly every time. Extremely captivated by him and his glory.
"I love you too."
"No-, I love you so much." He repeats.
"I love you so much." I giggle and he smiles at me.
"There is a reason why I brought you out here. I had been planning to do this for a while but, I was too scared. But I'm ready."
"Matty?" I'm so confused and the tears in his eyes makes me even more terrified. Is he gonna break up with me? "Don't-"
"Can you listen to me? I think I'm gonna be sick and all I need to do I is talk to you about this." He fumbles through the words without looking at me.
"Ok." I breath.
"Ok." He smiles. "I have loved you for 5 years. Even when I wasn't supposed to I did, and I have never regretted it for a second. Not the 3am phone calls or the secret rendezvous in my bedroom cause that always lead to amazing sex." I playfully smack his arm.
"No but seriously you have and always will be the love of my life and these past few months have only made that more apparent and so I think it's time." I'm still so confused, but as he starts to reach for his pants pocket the realization smacks me in the chest.
"I should be on one knee but I hate cliches." The little blue box tumbles in his hand and the lid pops open revealing the all too familiar diamond.
I look up to him, his wide eyes swollen and red.
"Well? You can't just not say anything after I've just asked you to marry me."
"Yes, Matty. Of course." He smiles, playfully punching my arm.
